Paradise
by Keruri1222
Summary: Semi-AU; Shuichi-centric, but with side stories as well. "And it's one more day in Paradise..." High rating for mention of NCS, heavy angst, and shonen-ai. ::ON HIATUS::
1. Prologue: Loosing Grip

  
**Prologue: Loosing Grip  
**  
Disclaimer: I do not own _Gravitation_—it is owned by the wonderful Maki Murakami-_san_, who created this amazing series for us to enjoy. And I most definitely don't own the characters, so remember that I'm only borrowing them for the time being.  
  
I'll give them back, Murakami-_san_, I promise!!   
  
More AN is at the end of this prologue, so wait until then for more information. Enjoy the first part of this series—I have a feeling that we've got a LONG way to go with this one.

* * *

_   
"I'm startin' to trip; I'm loosing my grip; and I'm in this thing alone..."  
_ - From the song, 'Loosing Grip,' by Avril Lavigne

* * *

  
God...my entire body hurts like hell.  
  
My throat's totally dried out; it's like I walked through the desert for hours without a water source in sight and I'm still stuck in the middle of the heat. After walking all of that time through these streets, (not to mention the fact that I had to maneuver around in the dark), my legs are probably gonna feel like shit tomorrow morning.  
  
Actually...forget about my legs just hurting—my entire _**self**_ is gonna feel like shit when I wake up tomorrow morning. Although...isn't it morning now? The space/time continuum in my mind is all screwed up.  
  
I want to believe what just happened was all a dream. I really, really do. But that would be foolish. That would be naïve and childish to think that; I would be childish and naïve to think that.  
  
But then again...that's how everyone else seems to see me, so what the hell's the difference anyway? I laugh bitterly to myself in the cold, shadowy night, finally slumping against a lamp pole with my messenger bag clumping down with me.  
  
What should I do now? I don't want to face Yuki after all this...not yet, anyway. And he's pissed at me for some reason, anyway, so it wouldn't be a good idea to go there. My parents would _freak_ if I told **them** what happened...and I don't even want to move another inch. So then...what—or better put, **where**—should I do now?  
  
Just then, I glance to the side of where I'm sitting. Huh. Well, what do you know? Hiro's apartment. Thank God. At least I won't have to walk far.  
  
And with that final thought, I reach into my bag for my cell phone. Dammit, Hiroshi, you'd better be home...

* * *

  
_Briiiing, briiiing!  
_  
Inside the Nakano household, the phone began ringing loudly.  
  
"Hiroshi, dear, can you get that?" Mrs. Nakano called upstairs from the kitchen, straining to put a cleaned bowl in the top cabinet. Mr. Nakano was sitting on the sofa, fast asleep, so he certainly was out of commission for the job.  
  
Sighing from his bedroom, Nakano Hiroshi dropped his magazine and reached for the phone that lay forgotten on the desk, (the entire house had a shared connection with the main phone, so anyone who was close to one could get it), and pressed the red, 'Talk,' button.  
  
"_Moshi moshi_, Nakano residence." Hiro spoke into the receiver with a bored tone of voice, as he leaned the phone against his ear while trying to bind long ruddy strands of hair in a proper ponytail.  
  
"...Hiro, is that you?"  
  
The hoarse voice of Shuichi, however, dispelled any further boredom, just as he snapped the rubber band holding his hair in place. "Shuichi, what the hell happened to you? Your voice sounds terrible...are you okay?"  
  
After listening to his friend speak for a while, Hiro's eyes went wide. "You're outside?! Why don't you just get up and come inside, then? My parents are up, so it's no problem, Shu..."  
  
"...Hiro, I'm sorry...I can't move another inch...can't you come out and help me...?"  
  
An icy sense of dread took a vice grip on Hiro's spine. "Shuichi...I'll be right there, then. Hang on, okay?!"  
  
And with that, the teen slammed the phone down, running down the staircase to aid his companion.  
  
At the moment, Hiro was ignoring the questioning of his mother; the sleepy grunts of his father as the older man woke up. His own thunderous footsteps pounded like the sound of his own racing heart, diminishing any further thoughts of stopping. Even though the door had to have only been a few feet away, it seemed to take an eternity for his feet to reach there. _Something's wrong_, Hiro thought, gasping as he flung the front door open quickly. _Something is **really** fucking wrong, and I've gotta find out what it is.  
_  
"Shuichi!" He cried as the entryway slid to the right on its hinges, revealing a ragged form hunched against the lamppost and displaying his own harassed, frightened form for the entire block to see.  
  
Slowly, a pair of vacuous blue-violet orbs slid to look at his friend's face—a stare that had such characteristics so unlike the vivid colors that normally existed within them. An involuntary gasp elicited from Hiro, and time suddenly stopped as a leisurely, sad smile escaped upon his lips.  
  
"You know, I don't care what he thinks. I still love him, even after everything...I still want to be with him..."  
  
Hiro was silent, though his heart twanged painfully when tears began coursing down Shuichi's childlike, gentle face.  
  
"...Why?! Why is it so wrong to love somebody, Hiro?! Even if he is a guy...even if it's considered wrong, why is it **WRONG** to love someone?! I just...I just..."  
  
The pink-haired boy burst into violet sobs, shoulders shaking with emotional weight. Without being able to withstand seeing his friend like this, Hiroshi finally gave in and wrapped his arms around the smaller boy. "Shuichi...it's not your fault...don't you **ever** think that it is, alright...?"  
  
The darkness set the perfect backdrop for the embracing teens, slowly swallowing the rest of Shuichi's own light since that gloomy night ensued.

* * *

  
And that is how it all begins.  
  
Don't expect a very happy-go-lucky story here...this tale will walk into some dark waters, much to my dismay. To tell you the truth, I never really wrote an angst-driven story like this one, and certainly not one with such heavy themes. If you have any suggestions that will help me throughout the chapters of this story, please let me know.  
  
And if you don't know what has happened to Shuichi yet...then just wait and see. That's all I can say.  
  
I hope you enjoyed the prologue, which (hopefully) set the tone for the next chapters, and if you did like it, please look forward to the approaching plotline ahead. 


	2. Chapter 1: Don't Know Myself

**Chapter 1: Don't Know Myself  
**  
**_Disclaimer: Gravitation is the property of Murakami-san, and since I am not her, then I don't own it. Simple, right? I DO own Sousuke, though--he's my weird, made-on-impulse original character. Even if he isn't all that important to the story, and probably won't ever appear again, please don't steal him. Thank you.  
  
Like last time, the less-obstructing notes are at the end of the chapter. I'm trying to lessen the effects of my blabbing so I don't bother everyone as much...does this work better? Or do you all like reading the longer author's/authoress's notes at the beginning of the story? Please let me know, so I can make this work to YOUR preference.  
  
Anyway, enough about all that. Enjoy this chapter, everyone._**

* * *

_** "I just wanna get up and scream,   
Say what I want to and not have to sift   
Through all those fragmented memories of a broken self..."  
**_ **_--From my original song, '_Don't Know Myself**_**.'  
**_

* * *

  
"Here. I thought that after all that crying you'd want something to drink...although, you did spent a lot of time in my shower just now. You didn't drink up all the bathwater, did you, Shuichi?"  
  
Gratefully accepting the mug of steaming tea from his friend, Shuichi smiled—but it was so brittle that Hiro almost likened it to a thin mirror, ready to crack any moment. "...Thanks a lot. I really appreciate everything you've done for me."  
  
"It's not a problem." The redhead softly answered, sitting beside Shuichi on his bed—or, as it seemed, **their** bed, since Shuichi was presently snuggling himself in his comforter. "That's what best friends are for, right?"  
  
Damp pink locks shifted up and down as he nodded in agreement. "Yeah...I guess you're right. Still...much obliged, Hiro."  
  
Hiro exhaled deeply, releasing a breath he hadn't even realized he had been holding in while waiting for Shuichi's response. "So...you ready to tell me what happened to shake you up so bad? You aren't usually like this, buddy."  
  
A pair of luminous amethysts shivered with a fervent emotion unfathomable to one not perceptive enough to figure it out. "...I'm sorry. I can't--"  
  
Hiro unexpectedly grinned, patting Shuichi on the head affectionately. "Hey, don't sweat it, man. You don't have to tell me if you really don't want to...I'm just asking if you were ready or not."  
  
Like he had expected, the smallest hint of a smile appeared on Shuichi's face. "...Thanks. I promise that I'll explain it to you...just not right now."  
  
_That's what I was afraid of you saying, Shuichi._ Hiro thought mournfully, turning away from his friend so Shuichi did not have to see the frown curving his lips and worry lines forming on his forehead. _Because if whatever happened is so bad that you don't even want to talk about it...then what could have possibly just occurred to make you like this?  
_  
"Umm...are you sure it's alright if I sleep here tonight, Hiro? I mean, if you need the space, I can always just go back to my parents' place and crash there for the night..."  
  
Hiro's eyes narrowed in scrutiny and dismay, and Shuichi automatically knew what his next words would be. "Your parents' house? Yuki-_san_ didn't kick you out again, did he?"  
  
A quiet sigh of half annoyance and half defeat. "That's...part of the problem." Shuichi bowed his head, staring at the pallid sheets of Hiro's bed. "But, I dunno...he seemed pretty upset about something when he told me to get out. I think he needs some time to himself right now, that's all."  
  
"Shuichi, how long are you gonna let this go on?" The firm yet gentle grip on Shuichi's shoulder expressed his serious, though he had meant to say the words in a more flippant manner. "If Yuki-_san_ doesn't want you around, why do you keep going back to him?"  
  
"It's not that, Hiro! I'm not such a...a **masochist** that I'd just keep going back to get hurt!" Shuichi cried defensively—though for whose defense it was, Hiro wasn't really sure. "It's just...I really care about him...and if he wants to be left alone for a while, then I respect that..."  
  
"I can see that much." It probably hadn't meant to sound the way it did; but even Shuichi could tell his friend's voice was full of bitterness.  
  
"H-Hiro...?"  
  
"I'm gonna go sleep on the couch tonight. You can get some rest here if you want."  
  
It was more a command, if anything, though. Shuichi didn't even the voice to shout for him as Hiro shut the door behind him, finalizing that the conversation was, indeed, over.

* * *

  
The city lights sparkled and glistened in the distance, and the taxi cab driver, a middle-aged, obese man of 45 years sighed when the light finally flashed from red to green. From Tokyo International Airport to his destination was supposed to take about two hours—but an unexpected traffic accident delayed them, ('them,' referring to the taxi driver and his passenger), much more than expected, and now night blanketed over the city like a cloaking veil.  
  
Normally, Myoujin Sousuke liked being friendly with whoever his passenger was; by nature, he was a sociable guy, but there was also another reason he did this. It was now a known fact that if you were polite and kind with a customer, they would provide an extra tip if you were lucky to catch someone considerate enough to do so.  
  
But since the very beginning of their ride together, the young teenager had only spoken once during the three-and-a-half-hour trip: when he had thanked Sousuke for picking him up when he had called for the taxi. Strangely enough, he seemed quite mature and well-mannered—a rare sight for someone in this day and age, at that age. Sousuke sighed deeply as he recalled his own wayward son, who always seemed to be getting into trouble with everything imaginable...  
  
Shaking his head, Sousuke glanced at the rearview mirror long enough to catch the downward-facing head of the dark-haired Japanese teenager. "Hey, kid. Are you okay back there? You've been awfully quiet throughout this whole way—and mostly anyone stuck with a delay like this would have complained at least once!"  
  
A pair of obsidian orbs flicked up to stare at the back of his driver's head. "...I'm alright. Just busy with a project right now...that's kept me occupied the whole way. I had been hoping for some time to finish this for a while now, anyway."  
  
Sousuke scoffed again when they hit yet another red light. "Dammit...seems like Fate's conspiring for us to hit all the stops. So, what're you doing back there, anyway?"  
  
The male grinned softly, holding out his sketchbook to Sousuke. "Why don't you see for yourself?"  
  
Surprised, Sousuke's eyes widened behind their glasses as he stared at the image in front of him. "Holy shit...kid, you're pretty good! And isn't this--?"  
  
"Sakuma-_san_ is the person I came to Tokyo for; not for anything or anyone else." He smirked, carefully taking the piece of artwork back from the driver. "And for complimenting my work, I'll give you an extra hundred yen piece added to your payment."  
  
Sousuke smiled, too; although for different reasons. "...Thanks, kid."  
  
It was only a few minutes longer until they reached their destination: a complex of highly-expensive studio suites. Sousuke had to raise an eyebrow at the dark-featured male exiting the taxi, even after he received his proper payment and was helping his passenger get his suitcase out of the trunk.  
  
"Hey, kid...you know someone who lives here? This is one hell of a place your friend's got, if it is..."  
  
The teenager grinned yet again, taking his baggage from outstretched hands. "Oh, believe you and me when I say this, mister: it's not my friend who lives here. In actuality, I'm crashing at my brother's place for a while."  
  
"Your brother?!" Sousuke was gaping. "You in a family of celebrities, kid?! What's your name?"  
  
"...Usuegi Tatsuha." Tatsuha said as he walked off towards the front lobby of the apartment building. "And I'm related to the Japan-renowned romance novelist, Yuki Eiri."

* * *

  
"Ryuichi-_san? _Can I speak with you for a moment, please?"  
  
Sakuma Ryuichi grinned childishly upon hearing his name, and nearly skipped into Tohma's office with Kumagorou in tow. "What did you want to talk with me about, no da?"  
  
"Well, it's concerning your concert tomorrow...I'm worried for your safety, Ryuichi-_san_. You don't have a proper bodyguard now that Mister K is with the Bad Luck Project." The flaxen-haired president frowned, soft features contracting a bit. "I'm thinking of looking for a bodyguard for you...it will probably be a random selection, unless you have someone specific in mind..."  
  
Ryuichi frowned, staring at Kumagorou left ear and decidedly biting on it. "Um...ffan fwee haff Faffuffha-_fun_, fnn?"  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
He stopped nibbling on his pink bunny to speak normally, smiling again. "I asked if we can have Tatsuha-_kun_ take care of me. He called me a few days ago and said he was coming to Tokyo soon, and I think he's arriving tomorrow, na no da!"  
  
"...Well, I'm not so sure if that's a good idea." Tohma told him, uncertainty evident in his voice. Tatsuha-_san_ is so young, still, and I doubt that he would be able to act mature enough around someone like you..."  
  
"But...I wanna see him..." Ryuichi replied honestly, tugging on a stitch that ran loose from Kumagorou's belly. "Tatsuha-_kun_ got my number all by himself and I think he wants to be my friend, no da...I know we only met once, but I wanna get another friend!"  
  
Tohma finally gave in to his longtime friend and band mate, albeit with a quiet sigh of exasperation. "Alright, then...honestly, Ryuichi-_san_, no one can resist it when you put your mind to things and actually try to convince someone...he can stay with you and protect you, but only for the concert tomorrow because you asked. No exceptions."  
  
"Ah! You mean its okay!? _Sankyuu_, Tohma!" Ryuichi chirped, already out the door. "Don't worry—one day alone is JUST fine, no da! Kuma-_san_ and I are **really** grateful! Well, see you tomorrow!"  
  
As the olive-haired singer dashed out of the room, however, he lost the happy bravado midway and began walking normally. _I don't even know why I want to...  
_  
_...I just know that I want to see him again.  
_  
"_Hen desu ne_, Kuma-_san_?" Ryuichi nuzzled Kumagorou with his cheek, staring at the ceiling as he walked. "Even I don't know what I'm doing sometimes. When everybody wonders what I'm trying to prove...  
  
"...I go and ask the same thing of myself."

* * *

**_   
Wow, you guys actually like my story?! Wahhh...I'm so happy! _****_Domo arigatou gozaimasu, minna-san!  
  
A special thanks goes out to Yaoifangirl15, goku-the-saru, (thanks for putting me on your favorite authors' list!), and clari-chan for being the first ones to review Paradise. Hugs for all of you! Everyone else, thank you too for the moral support--I love you guys, too!  
  
I've even gone to everyone's pages and read (at least) one of everyone's stories...you're all great writers, too, you know, and I'm glad to have read your works.   
  
Oh, and could anyone tell without the added song lyrics that the titles of every chapter are song titles? It goes the same way here, too...if you know the song, then you might find out that the lyrics fit the mood of the chapter. I am going to try and do that every time I add a new part to Paradise. I hope everyone likes this idea...if not, please let me know.  
  
Lots of hope for the next chapter...this one was a bit less angst-ridden than the last, but I assure you that things should pick back up next chapter. Once again, lots of thank you's to everyone, and see you in chapter 2._**


	3. Chapter 2: Interlude of Shuichi

**__  
  
Chapter 2: Interlude--Shuichi**  
  
**_Disclaimer: Gravitation does not belong to me. Murakami-san owns it. Yup. And that's all I have to say.  
  
That's all my words for today, folks. Thank-you notes for the reviews, as well as other issues, are at the end of the chapter. I hope everyone enjoys this installment of Paradise, Chapter 2. _**

* * *

_   
Amidst the dark night, your silhouette haunts me  
Scattered by the broken patches of the sky  
Cold gales blow, but I am unaffected by them,  
The numbness within my heart unfading--  
_  
I sighed and flung the offending paper into the nearby garbage can, which landed somewhere in the pile of gathering crumpled sheets. Ugh...I am TOTALLY fed up with trying to create last-minute song lyrics! With this finalized though, I pushed the, 'borrowed,' notebook spiral, (taken without permission, unfortunately), at the foot of the bed and lay back on my pillow.  
  
Damn it...I can't even think straight! I was hoping I could maybe get another song done by tomorrow, before the joint concert with Ryuichi...I guess I just don't have it in me right now, you know?  
  
I may have yelled at Hiro too harshly. He seemed really upset when he left. Well, BIG news flash for you, buddy: just because you THINK I don't know when something's bothering you, doesn't mean I don't!  
  
Hiro, why do you have to be such a martyr and hide all your feelings inside? I mean, he's so smart in some ways, but when it comes to some things...totally clueless and idiotic. I mean, he spends way too much time worrying about everyone else, and not enough on himself!  
  
Huh. Then again, who am I to have the right to complain about _him_ not looking out for his own safety? I can't look after myself either. All I've become is a burden upon everyone...  
  
And I bet tomorrow, I won't even be able to sing. Suguru's gonna be pissed, but right now I don't even give a shit...and I bet Sakano-_san_'s gonna burst a vein trying to get my spirits up tomorrow...  
  
But what's the point in being cheerful anymore? It's not like things are ever going to go back to normal...I can pretend all I want, but no matter how much I try to hide it, everything's gone wrong today. Everything I've _done_ and _said_ today came out wrong, in some way, shape, or form. I've done something to make Yuki really mad, and _he_ kicked me out of the house. Hiro's mad at me, too, and _he's_ probably not going to even think of trying to speak with me tomorrow...and then...there's--  
  
**No**. I'm _NOT_ going to think of that right now...I should...just try and get some rest, at least...so maybe by tomorrow, I can forget. Forget all of this ever happened...forget that no one wants, 'broken goods...' Forget that anything ever happened tonight at all...  
  
Mentally spent, I pulled the bed sheets up and brought them around my body. The warmth I felt wasn't soothing, however; it taunted me, reminded me that I wasn't warm and happy like these blankets were. It made me realize that, suddenly, the world is cold, dark, and lonely place when you're alone—when no one wants you around, and you just want to lie down and die. When you're kicked to the curb... stepped on...violated...  
  
...No. No, no, **_no!_** Stop it! I **don't** want to remember! Just leave me alone!!  
  
"_**If the press ever heard about your little affair, they'd bury you in a second...but I hate you so much, I'd still want more."  
**_  
_** "Because you make me SICK, you no-talent hack!"**_  
  
**_"Thanks for waiting, guys. It's time to earn your money...take care of him."  
_**  
No...stop it...go _away..._  
  
I willed the horrible memories to go away as best I could. But I could still feel the clammy hands, covered in grime and sweat and lustful intentions, crawling everywhere. Even trying to make it go away, I could still hear the muffled screams and crying that came from my own throat. I could still hear everything...  
  
I refuse to believe what it really was...I won't say it was, 'rape,' because then it would make it so. Even though, right now...all I'm living in a paradise of nothing but dreams and illusions.  
  
Because, you see, I'm only fooling myself. I want to be like everyone else and live in the material world where what's palpable is real; whatever memorable happens will always stay engraved in your heart; where people can be happy. Happy...happy...what does that mean to me?  
  
**_You're nothing. You don't need happiness_**.  
  
Dammit...why the hell _**can't**_ I be happy?! What is so...so **WRONG** with me that I don't deserve happiness?! And I'm **NOT** being selfish...because everyone deserves to be happy, right? Doesn't every person in the world deserve at least that much? Even if they aren't rich, or famous, or even _loved_...then being happy is the next best thing, right? Why do people need materialistic items like fame, or money, or the biggest estate in the world?  
  
Why can't they just feel blessed and happy with what they were GIVEN, and live on the fact that they have so much already...?  
  
Then again...I know someone who wants _everything_ the world has to offer. But that's just foolish to me now...and I wish I knew why.  
  
Right now, I really want to be back home. Home, lying in my own bed...with the bedroom walls all around me, as if nothing had ever happened. Home, with Yuki, curled up in his arms after we've made love. Home, sitting at the table and eating a quiet dinner...with the one person I care about most.  
  
Yuki....Yuki...the name floats through my mind like a mantra, slowly making me realize something.  
  
I can pretend I don't need other people to live all I want...but in the end, I'm just a fucking liar. Because people that I care about are exactly what I need to survive. My lifeblood.  
  
And suddenly, I was crying again. Because I realized that now, my selfish cruelty distanced me further from everything I loved more than ever.

* * *

**_  
There you go: the first, though certainly not the last, character interlude of Paradise. Consider this the first step of Shuichi's constant descent into madness...and only the first part of it, that's for sure._**   
  
**_Just as a little side note, by mid-August, I'll be going back to school...my freshman year of high school! I'm a bit nervous and excited, and I might be busier then, (I'm not really sure WHAT to expect, since I'm the oldest in my family. :P), so if there are more sporadic updates, you'll all know why. Nevertheless, I hope to work on this story as much as possible, and...well, I'll do my best, everyone.  
  
Since that's all I really have to say for now, the only thing left to take account for is to say five more words... "See you in Chapter 3!"_**


	4. Chapter 3: Stone Roses

**  
Chapter 3: Stone Roses**

**_Whoa! Compared to some of my other updates to the chapters in this story, this has taken the longest time yet...I apologize to you guys for that much. I also hope you can forgive me, since I put a lot of thought into this one chapter. Thanks to YaoiFangirl15, goku-the-saru, clari chan, virenta, Ochako107, (JAKUKIE-SAN! Lol), i love athrun, panatlantic, meme234, WildfireWing, and mischakitsune, (you're going to be a freshman, too?! Sugoi desu ne...good luck to you, too, then!), for reviewing this story thus far. You all deserve so much more than my mundane chapter updates, but if you ask nicely, I don't mind doing a favor for people already doing a favor for me..._**

...**_Just a thought._**

**_Anyways, hugs to all of you, folks! [Hugs all the readers and reviewers] Whenever the end of this fic comes around, I'll have a special dedication ready for you all guys! _**

**_Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation, because I'm not Murakami-san. And that's the end result, really. _**

**_More characters are being introduced slowly, as you may have realized from chapter 1...watch out for these guys. Hiro, Tohma, Ryuichi, and Tatsuha will all be very important to Shuichi's life as the story progresses...and even MORE side characters may emerge as the plot thickens. So watch out for those, too.

* * *

_**

_**Hito wa minna bara no hana...**_

People are like roses...

_**Kokoro ni himeta iwa de**_

**_Kudaite wa akai;_**

**_Akai namida wo nagashiteiru no deshou?_**

**_Itsuwatte..._**

On the stone hidden in my heart,

What breaks is redness;

Red tears are flowing, aren't they?

But they are deceiving...

-- **_From _the Weiss Kruez "Gluhen" Ending Theme, _Stone Roses_. (Lyrical Source: Anime )**

* * *

"Just what the hell are you doing here...Tatsuha?"

The rude inquiry, though expected, nearly caught the dark-haired brother of Japan's famous romance novelist off-guard. "What else does it look like, _Aniki?_ I came to see my favorite brother here in Tokyo, that's all."

Yuki Eiri sighed harshly, muttering an expletive under his breath. "First of all, I'm your only brother, dumbass. And for another, you're one shitty liar. Obviously, you have some other ulterior motive here, and I'm guessing that it has _something_ to do with that pop star you're so obsessed with."

"That's **Sakuma-_san_**, _Aniki!"_ Tatsuha huffed, correcting his brother's apparent, 'blunder.' "The most gorgeous, adorable, sweet, sexy being on this _PLANET_, for your information...!"

The author rolled his eyes as the teen went into, 'raving fan-boy mode.'

"Whatever. Get out of my face for the meanwhile. I'm way too exhausted for your crap this late in the night." Eiri crossly attempted to shut the door on his visitor; but Tatsuha was enraged—and much faster than the sleep-deprived blonde.

"Hey, don't you **DARE**, 'whatever,' my Sakuma-_san_, _Aniki!" _He promptly shoved the wooden object right back in the direction _he_ wanted it to lean, and Eiri was so tired that he let the young man come in. "And it's only midnight! Surely you've got a book that requires an all-nighter or else you wouldn't be staying up this late!"

"Like you fucking care." Eiri shot back carelessly, as Tatsuha rolled his luggage down the studio apartment's corridor and headed towards the guest room.

Instead of trying to add to the argument, Tatsuha turned around and grinned. "I do so care. You just don't seem to think so. Guess that makes you the dumbass, _ne?"_

"At least if you're going to stay here, then put your stuff down, go sleep on the couch for tonight, and shut the hell up. I can't stand an idiot's voice when I'm tired."

Tatsuha gave his older sibling a strange look. "Whatddya mean, 'sleep on the couch?' I thought that you had some guy living with you? That's what _Nee-chan_ said, anyway..."

Flinching, though the prideful blonde would have refused to admit it, the image of a certain pink-haired lover flashed through his mind, reminding him of the obvious absence of the, 'some guy.'

"There is...he's just not here right now."

Eiri walked away from the living room without another word. And, of course, once Tatsuha realized that there would be no further elaboration on the subject, he flopped down on the couch tiredly, grateful that he at least had a place to crash for the night.

* * *

Somewhere behind the door he just shut, the faint sound of someone sobbing reached Nakano Hiroshi's ears.

Silently, Hiro was cursing himself—not just for being curt and downright rude to Shuichi, but for his own inability to go into that room and comfort his best friend. However, that would mean dealing with his own internal guilt of not being able to prevent the singer's sorrow in the first place.

Despite the impulsive way he had just behaved, Hiro was no idiot—something truly terrible had happened to Shuichi, and he knew exactly why the male was in no condition to tell what. While Shuichi was in the shower, he had checked his friend's clothing--which had been conveniently discarded at the foot of the bathroom door—and found the remnants of dried blood in the boy's undergarments. It didn't take scientific deduction to figure out what had happened, obviously.

_Although, for the record_, Hiro thought, _I don't exactly enjoy the thought of Shuichi being--_

_--No, even **thinking** about something like that makes me sick to my stomach...but, then again...who could have possibly done this to Shuichi...? And, while we're on the subject, **why**? _

For a moment, Hiro began to silently question who could possibly have a reason to hurt his best friend. Either there was an abusive relationship going on between Yuki and Shuichi—which, quietly, Hiro flinched at the mere thought of it; but quickly decided that any personal feelings could get in the way of proper judgment, and tossed the idea aside—or someone had a _serious_ distaste for the rising star and was trying to take him out. They were the only two logical clues Hiro had—and he would be damned if he didn't at least **try** to do something to help Shuichi.

_Shuichi...if you don't mind me playing detective for a little while, and prying into your personal affairs...I'm gonna try and get you out of this._ Instinctively, Hiro clenched his fists, nearly breaking the flesh of his palms with tight fingernails.

_And whoever did this to you, I promise that I'll kick that sorry bastard's ass so hard he won't know **what** hit him._


	5. Chapter 4: Liminality

**Chapter 4: Liminality**

**Standard disclaimer applies**

**_I will be there seekin' for liminality,_**

**_No destinations to see; I wander..._**

**_In quiet places so dark as eternity,_**

**_I'm crying calling your name;_**

**_I'm searching for you..._**

**--From the song, 'Liminality,' from _.hack LIMINALITY

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_**

****

**The bedroom phone, lost under a sea of pallid, rumpled bed sheets, rang insistently; Eiri grumbled something foul and got up from his bed. _Just what I needed; a phone call at God-only-knows WHAT time of morning, on a day when I could SERIOUSLY use to sleep in. Just my luck. _With another annoyed curse, the blonde kicked away the offending fabric and rescued the phone from its cottony clutches. **

"**Yeah, who is it?" Eiri growled into the receiver—so angrily that the person on the other end squeaked in surprise. **

**_Wait a second, SQUEAKING? What the fuck...?_**

"**_GOMEN_, YUKI-_SANNN!_ _Gomen ne_, no da!!! Did Ryuichi and Kuma-_san_ wake you up?! _Gomen_, _gomen_! Ryuichi is reaaaallly sorry for that, na no daaaaaa...! You forgive us, don't you?!"**

**Tiredly, Eiri placed the receiver back on his ear; during the hyperactive pop idol's bout of screeching, he had pulled it away from there. "Whatever, I forgive you. Now, can you please explain to me why you're calling so early in the morning, and what the hell do you want?"**

"**Ahh...well, Kuma-_san_ and Ryuichi wanted to know if Shu-_chan_ was there...we wanted to see him today, since it's pretty early, and the concert tonight isn't starting until nine, no da..." Despite the childish tone Ryuichi had used, even Eiri could tell that the singer was lonely; he honestly wanted the company, from the way his voice spoke.**

"**The brat isn't here right now—I haven't seen him since yesterday morning, and the idiot didn't even have to common decency to tell me where he was going. Probably at some friend's house, I'd guess, but even that's not for certain..." He tried not to sound _too _concerned, despite the fact that Shuichi was the reason he had gotten so little sleep the night before. Who would have thought the pink-haired teenager would affect Eiri so?**

"**Oh, you mean Hiro-_san_'s place?!" Ryuichi sounded much more cheerful once he realized that he may have known the other singer's whereabouts. "That's a GREAT idea, no da! I'll go check right now! Thanks a lot, Yuki-_san_, no da!! Kuma-_san_ and I send you a big hug!!" There was a _click_ on the other line, and Ryuichi was gone. **

**For a moment, all was silent—Eiri was half in a stupor over Ryuichi's cheerfulness, for it reminded him of his lover's overly jovial personality—but the quiet didn't last very long...**

"**_ANIKIIIIIIIII_!!! SAKUMA-_SAN_ JUST CALLED AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME?! WHY, BROTHER; WHY MUST YOU BE SO CRUEEEEELLL?! I WANTED TO SPEAK TO HIIIIIIMMMM!!!" **

**Apparently, Tatsuha had just read the caller ID for the main apartment phone. And judging from that wail, the teenager was NOT happy at all. **

"**_That idiot...he's louder than the brat sometimes. Tatsuha had BETTER be leaving soon...better yet, if he shacks up with that singer, then all will be right again in the world." _**

**The bedroom door went flying open, revealing a heavily panting Tatsuha.**

"**_Aniki_, did you get his number?! Does this phone have an internal memory?! Please, please, PLEASE tell me you got his number!! C'mon, don't keep me in suspense, I gotta knowwwwww...!"**

**However, Eiri was already tuning out his younger brother's words, as a sudden, solemn thought crossed his mind with the words he had murmured before.**

**_Well...all would be right if Shuichi would ever get his ass back home. I'm sure as hell not admitting it to anybody else, but the truth is...I miss the little brat and his annoying presence.

* * *

_**

****

**It was a cozy affair to be eating breakfast with Hiro's family; quite honestly, ever since Shuichi had moved in with Eiri, he hadn't gone back to his parents' house, and that fuzzy feeling you can only get when around maternal guardians had slowly faded from his memory. Mr. And Mrs. Nakano did not question or bring up Shuichi's behavior the night before—perhaps Hiro had specifically asked them not to—but in any case, Shuichi was extremely grateful. Sitting with a pair of kindly adults, his best friend, and a plate of fried eggs, toast, and sausage links had at least kept his mind off of the night's past events—things he was not very comfortable discussing, let alone remembering.**

"**So, Shuichi, you wanna go someplace today? Maybe the mall or downtown to catch a movie?" Hiro had questioned while the parents were cleaning up the dishes made by their meal.**

"**Ah...maybe the last idea; I heard there was a really neat action movie coming out, and I wanted to go see it." Shuichi tried to smile as warmly as he could, even though his jaw was throbbing a bit. "Maybe we can invite someone else to come with us, like Sakuma-_san_ or Fujisaki?" **

**Unexpectedly, the red-haired guitarist frowned. "Actually, Shu, I was kinda hoping it could just be you and I for once...y'know, since there's been so much stuff going on lately, I figured that during the day, we could both relax and loosen up before the concert tonight." The teen's eyes flickered with something akin to concern, and Hiro's brow furrowed. "Shuichi, are you sure--?"**

"**Hiro, don't worry about it. Last night was just some weird thing that happened. Today, I swear that I'm TOTALLY pumped up for tonight's joint concert with Sakuma-_san_!" Shuichi quickly dismissed Hiro with his words. "And I'll be fine—nothing's gonna stop the invisible Bad Luck, right?" **

**He smiled wanly in return. "You can stop convincing me; I get the picture already. We'll do anything you want today, alright? This whole trip's gonna be about you."**

**In actuality, however, Hiro was not very convinced. And neither was Shuichi, who soon after his bout of fake cheerfulness frowned and expressed a visage of clear seriousness when he thought Hiro wasn't looking.**

**_Ding dong!_ The hearty ring of the doorbell, well prompted, dissolved the aching silence that had formed between the two friends. Mrs. Nakano cheerfully rushed to the door, leaving her husband with the last of the dishes. "Coming! Just wait a moment until I get to the door, please!"**

**The middle-aged woman opened the door with a jovial smile, eyes closed. "Yes, who is it?"**

"**_Anoo_...is Shu-_chan_ here? I heard that he wasn't where he usually is, so I came to look for him..."**

**Mrs. Nakano's eyes snapped open in shock, barely able to register who was standing in front of her. "S-Sakuma Ryuichi-_san_..."**

**Sure enough, the olive-haired man-child was there, toting his beloved pink bunny in his right hand, and a small shopping bag in the left. From the purely cheerful grin on his face, whatever shopping trial he had previously gone on must have ended successfully. "Sorry for bothering you, Mrs. Nakano, na no da! I came here to see Shu-_chan_, because Kumagorou and I wanted to have a fun day today...that's okay, isn't it?"**

"**O-Of _course_ it is, Sakuma-_san!_ A-Anything you'd like, we'll be more than grateful to get it for you!_"_ Clearly, Mrs. Nakano had no idea that being in the business of a celebrity caused you to usually become close with _other_ celebrities; Hiro smirked at the thought, unconsciously.**

**Ryuichi giggled cutely, his youthful cheeks stretching into an even further grin. "Please, call me Ryuichi! Or Ryu-chan, if you'd like! I don't like honorifics added to my name, no da...neither does Kuma-_san!_" He made the little plush shake its head in negative, his own face contours slipping into a dramatic frown.**

"**S-Sure...of course, Sa—I mean, R-Ryuichi." Mrs. Nakano was clearly having a familiarity issue. **

**Hiroshi, however, already enlightened by Ryuichi's lesson of, 'Call me by my name with no honorifics,' smiled and greeted the older man kindly. "Ryuichi! How's it going, buddy?"**

**Kumagorou shook with the movements of its owner; shortly thereafter, the pink bunny's master spoke. "Hiro-_san!_ Ryuichi and Kuma are happy to see you, no da! And you, too, Shu-_chan_!" **

**Shuichi regarded his cheerful doppelganger with a vague smile—and Ryuichi wilted slightly.**

"**_Hiro-san_..." Ryuichi whispered, while clutching Kumagorou's plushy form to his shirt. "_What's wrong with Shu-chan, no da?"_ **

**The guitarist shook his head; as if the motion would will his own memories and rage away. "_I'll explain to you while we're out...right now, though, let's take Shuichi out on the town so he can at least get his mind off of things."

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_**__

_**clari chan: Hey, welcome back, friendly reviewer! Thanks for the comment, I'm trying to belt out these chapters as fast as I can...though the document uploading system acting all freaky didn't exactly help my multi-part stories very much. TT Well, in any case, sankyuu for the review, and hope to see you in the next few chapters! **_

Deppfan1016: Wow, you like my work?! [Blush] Well, sankyuu, Depp-san! Much obliged...I hope that if you like this story, you'll stick around for the next few chapters, and I'll try to live up to your expectations of good grammar and spelling...although I'm a HORRIBLE speller without my spell checker. Sankyuu for the review!

Wizard: Thank you for the compliment on this story! I was getting a little worried that my writing had gone down the drain, because this story was a spur-of-the-moment fic idea I got, and shortly after I began it, I got a MAJOR writer's block...EBIL, EBIL WRITER'S BLOCK. Nevertheless, it's nice to hear that...please keep reading the chapters I put up, and we might eventually reach the end of this fic! Sankyuu for the review, too!

moonlight2: He-he. You bet Shuichi's angst-ing. In fact, expect him to angst pretty much throughout the whole fic...though there'll be a few choice people who can bring him out of his funk, at certain times. Stick around, my angst-loving reviewer, sit back, and enjoy the show...

_**sansty-san: Yes, I too agree angst is awesome. But, quite honestly, I'm just leaning into the angst thing now...it's all Yami No Matsuei's fault! That was the series that made me have a sudden love for series with tragic stories behind the characters and intricate plots that have you SWIMMING in them!!! [Oki, I'll stop whining now, sorry. Sorry. ] Sankyuu for the review!**_

_**goku-the-saru: Goodness, you've reviewed all my chapters so far...thanks a lot for that much! I'm glad there's a fellow Hiro lover out there besides myself, (although I'm sure there are more besides you), and yes, Hiro is taking a lot of liberties in this fic for his best friend. You might just see some hints at Hiroshi being more to Shu than just a friend in the next few chapters...I'm not sure if you're a Hiro x Shu shipper, but watch out for it. Hope you like, and sankyuu for the review(s)! **_

_**Lots of hugs to the readers who haven't reviewed—you guys are awesome, too! [Hugs] Continue to read this story, please, and I will keep writing and posting chapters for it. One more weekend until school starts up again for me, and the open house for me was Friday...I still have to finish reading that book, too... [Grr.]**_

_**See you in chapter 5!**_


	6. Chapter 5: Interlude of Hiroshi

**  
Chapter 5: Interlude--Hiroshi**

**_Standard Disclaimer Applies _**

**_You guys rock...I seriously can't believe I have over THIRTY reviews for this story already! Thank you so much, everyone, for FAR surpassing my expectations for this story...keep being so kind and supportive, and I'll kindly and supportively belt out more chapters for you guys. _**

**_Ah...this is another perspective chapter, this time taking Hiro-san's perspective on things. The next one will be Ryuichi-san, because he's an even bigger challenge for me to write as...and I happen to enjoy a good challenge. _**

_**The English translation to a snippet of the lovely lyrics to, 'Secret Sorrow,' the X TV Series's ending theme, comes from Anime Lyrics. They are located at the very beginning of this chapter, and I'd really like you to check out Secret Sorrow...it's a beautiful, mellow song that fits Hiro's feelings towards Shuichi, (in this story, anyway), perfectly, and I used it to get myself into the feel of this chapter. Maybe you will to, if you give it a look-see.**_

**_Since I don't want to bore you guys with the insignificant details like my gripes, squealing, and review replies, I'll wait until the end to drop you with things like that. Enjoy chapter five, folks; and remember that this story is made possible by readers like you. _**

**_And boy, did that sound like a cheesy PBS sponsor commercial or what?_**

_**

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**_

If I love, I'll be hurting as much as I love

_**From tomorrow onwards, **_

_**What should the both of us do?**_

_**What repeats is the days that haven't changed for the better**_

_**You have to walk but...**_

_**I want you to know that I want to be by your side...**_

If there's one thing that I hate more than anything in the world, its being unable to stop the worst things from happening to the people I care most about.

Yes, I know about that fickle notion people call, 'Destiny,' and, 'Fate.' Quite honestly, I believe in both of them, knowing that despite the unrealism of it, there probably _is_ some otherworldly apparition out there watching our every move; controlling every action and event we do and see. I understand that there may even be a God that will save us in our most imperative moment; and, one day, when I actually experience it, I might actually take those things more seriously.

This, however, is something I have to take seriously _now_.

He can smile as much as he wants, but I can tell it's not real. Shuichi's only smiling so we think nothing's wrong, and that's probably the most selfless thing anyone can do in this kind of situation. He smiles, so we can pretend that he _didn't_ break down in front of me last night, trying to explain what the problem was with him. He smiles, so that when night finally comes around, and the tears will come again, no one will _think_ it could happen. Smiling, always cheerful Shuichi...only this time, he's putting the act up as a shield to hide his pain.

Damn it, why do you have to be so selfish, Shu...? We're all here for you, and whenever you need to talk, you've probably got more people to talk to than anyone else in Tokyo about your problems. No matter how tough they are to get past, we can always try our hardest to make them go away; if not forever, then just for a short while...

After we start looking around in the local music store, Shuichi breaks away from our small circle and goes off to look for CDs by himself. Reluctantly, I let him leave; and the only reason I'm willing to do that right now is because I need to talk to Ryuichi alone. Otherwise, you can bet as sure as hell I'm not leaving him alone for one second—certainly not in his state, anyway.

"Ryuichi...you probably need an explanation for all this, so...should I start?"

The normally uncomplicated adult frowns, clearly serious and listening. "Uun...I'll listen, no da."

"Listen, the reason I said we should bring him out here is because...well...Shuichi's not feelin' too good right now."

"He's not?! Is he sick? Does he have some incurable disease or something that's acting up again after many, many years?! C'mon, you've gotta tell me, Hiro-san!"

Shaking my head lightly at Ryuichi's anxiousness and childlike words, a small grin creeping onto my features. "Ryuichi, that's not it...I think Shuichi's been raped."

"W-What?! Seriously...? But WHY?" Kumagorou was hugged tighter to its owner's chest.

"Seriously, Ryuichi. And I have no idea why, but we'll work on that later." For the first time that week, I felt as tired as I know I must have looked—earlier this morning, upon inspection at the bathroom mirror, I realized that the lack of sleep last night over worrying for Shuichi had caused dark circles under my eyes. Thank God for the invention of concealer, found while purging my mom's drawers. I'll have to apologize to her later if she brings it up. "For now...for the moment, let's focus on ways to keep Shuichi's happy, alright?"

"...I understand." Ryuichi nodded grimly. "I think that if I keep up the happy act, he'll get into it also...just try to help me out, too, okay, Hiroshi-_san_?"

...I swear, you can't stay sad for too long around this guy...he really is like Shuichi is every possible way. A bit upset by the thought, however, I continued the impassive visage. "You don't even have to ask. I'll make sure Shuichi stays cheerful, if just long enough so I can talk with Yuki-_san_ and get him to let Shuichi back into his place...you know Shu's happiest there."

Ryuichi was adamantly nodding, back to his old, _genki_ self again. "Mm-hmm! Shu-_chan_ always talks about Yuki-_san_, no da! And he's always shiny when he does, too!"

"That's a weird way of putting it, but...okay..."

Suddenly, Ryuichi looked straight ahead intently, squinting at something, as if there were a faraway object that interested him.

"Hey...what're you looking at, Sakuma-_san_?" I figured if anything could get him out of that trance, it could be using an honorific—which, we all know, he does NOT like happening.

But it didn't; and by now, I'm starting to think something's seriously wrong with this guy. The people Shuichi idolizes sure are strange. "Ryuichi, what the hell are you staring at...?"

As I turn around, though, the line of vision Ryuichi is focusing on seems to include someone a few rows of shelves away, though I don't really recognize him. He seems like any other average Japanese teenager around my age, if not a bit younger, I suppose, by the way his face looks. Dark hair, dark eyes, and tall, strong-looking build—well, maybe he ISN'T around my age. He might even be an adult already, and just looks young, like Ryuichi. There are a few people like that, after all.

"..._That's him_..." I heard Ryuichi murmur quietly to himself, his grip on his pink bunny loosening a bit.

"...What?" I'm sorry, but now I'm REALLY confused. What does he mean by, 'that's him?' Who the hell is, 'him?'

The stranger glances up—perhaps he felt eyes on him, or something of the like—and begins staring owlishly at us with obsidian pools. A taut silence followed soon after, the music playing on the overhead radio suddenly dimming with the aura around us. Ryuichi and the young man could stare at each other all they wanted—but this annoying quiet was beginning to freak me out. I finally spoke up, unable to deal with the deathly stillness anymore.

"Hey...do you guys know each other?" I ask hesitantly, a bit uncertain to speak.

Ryuichi suddenly brightens, as if he were a light bulb shining at the words I had just said. He then excitedly leaps over the shelves acrobatically—shocking both the strange boy and myself—and flings himself into the dark-haired male's arms once he reaches his destination.

"TATSUHA-_SAN!!_ It's really you, no da?! I don't believe it! When did you come back from Kyoto?! Did something happen? Did you come to see me or Yuki-_san_ or Shu-_chan_!? _Wai_, _wai_, I can't believe you're back!! It's been such a long timeeee!"

By now, a fair amount of people were uncomfortably staring, including the faraway Shuichi. And, far too confused to be able to do anything, I just stood there, wondering what would possibly happen next.

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**_clari chan: You observant little gal. How did you know? Yes, Ryuichi will play quite an important role in this story, mainly for—wait, I can't spoil it for anybody! My plans are HI-MI-TSU! Well, as a hint, just remember how everyone describes Shuichi and Ryuichi as one of the same...and think of others will observe the both of them, now that Shuichi is being angst-y. That's all I'm going to say for that, however. Yes, I will try to make this story as great as I can, and I hope you will think so too. Welcome back, and sankyuu for the review!_**

**_deppfan1016: I'm happy you were happy with me including Ryuichi in these chapters. Keep an eye out of him, then; he's going to play a role in the plot big time later on, so consider him as much a central character as Shuichi. Yuki IS secretly missing Shuichi, but he's probably not returning heavily into the story until about chapter 6 or 7...so please wait until then, and we'll have our Shu x Yuki romance again. I like that coupling as much as the next girl, so I hope you will enjoy that, too! Sankyuu for the review!_**

_**driven to insanity: Hai, hai, I'm back to writing more... I've had a slight writer's block for a few weeks, but I'm back in business now! High school was a bit busier that I accounted for... Oh, well. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, too, and sankyuu for the review!**_

_**i love athrun: Sankyuu for the review!**_

_**kanilla: Sankyuu for reviewing all my other chapters, too, kanilla-san! Hope you'll stick around for the next chapters as well!**_

_**Kitty in the Box: I'm trying the, 'simmering down the angst,' a bit, mostly not because I don't like angst, but because I'm aiming to capture the spirit of Gravitation AND my own personal writing style into this story. - I'm glad you like Tatsuha's whining—in that chapter, I wanted him to be more the Ryuichi-fan boy, but my Tatsuha is really quite mature in comparison to the way he is normally seen. I like a mature Tatsuha, and I think that would be a good idea...wouldn't it? Please let me know what you think of that, and sankyuu for the review!**_

**_Ochako107: Jakukie-san, you're such a sweetheart LOL. I hope you know that our AIM conversation on Friday inspired me to write this chapter, after this story has been stuck on a LONG hiatus for a while now, (as well as my other ones)! You sounded so sad at the end of our talk, though, and while it's not my place to pry, (and believe me, I HATE prying people ), I hope that you will be back to your genki self when we talk again, and that this chapter I wrote for you to cheer you up! So...I hope you read this review reply, and thank you so much for being there to review my stories, (God knows I probably pester you enough about it :P), and for just being one of the coolest anime-loving friends, (AND THE FIRST!! THAT'S SPECIAL, TOO, NO DA!), I've ever had. - Hugs! Hakkai-san sends his regards, too, by the way! And even Gojyo-san, even if he doesn't know you that well. Hakkai-san made him do it, he says...hehe._**

_**I'm so sorry for the long wait, everyone...high school made me more busy than I thought, and I had been procrastinating with my fan fiction more than every lately. But fear not! With new vigor and renewed will, I will continue ALL of my multi-part stories and attempt to work on them to the best of my abilities! Readers AND reviewers: keep up the support, please, and I will continue to be genki and show my support with more chapters. Well, until next chapter...see you next time!**_


	7. Chapter 6: Sora Iro Sky Blue

**  
Chapter 6: _Sora Iro_ (Sky Blue)**

**Standard Disclaimer Applies**

_**Yorokobi mo kanashimi mo fui ni watashi o tamesu**_

_**Mou ikudo koeta darou**_

**_Hitori nakiakashita yoake..._**

**Still there is joy, still there is sadness, and I don't when to expect either**

**Still I must carry on, I know**

**Alone, I cry till the dawn...**

**-- From the _Fruits Basket_ song, _Sora Iro_. (Lyrical Source: Anime Lyrics)

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**

"S-Sakuma-_san_..." Tatsuha managed to say; that is, as best as one could with a vice-like grip on his stomach courtesy of a hyper pop idol. "It's really you..."

"Of course it is, no da!" Ryuichi finally released his visitor, looking at the taller teenager with bright blue spheres blinking lightly at him. "I'm really, really happy to see you, no da...why didn't you let Ryu-_chan_ and Kuma-_san_ know you were coming?"

The dark-haired male chuckled, sheepishly scratching the nape of his neck for some reason or another. "Well, you haven't given me your cell number or anything, so..."

"Oh, no, I didn't?!" Ryuichi gasped dramatically, shoving his hands into his jacket pockets for a pen. "Sorry...I guess I forgot, no da! Okay, lemme get something to write with, and then you can call me any time you want! Um, just don't forget about it being on your hand and wash the ink off...it's a gel pen, and that happens sometimes to me, no da..." Somewhere in between his searching, he shoved Kumagorou into Tatsuha's arms. "Here, tell Kuma-_san_ where you're staying and we'll both know then! No worries, though; Kuma-_san_ won't keep anything from me, no da!"

"O...kay..." Tatsuha was obviously quite abashed, but he took the bunny anyway and began to speak with it. "Kuma-_san_, tell Ryuichi I'm staying at my _Aniki_'s house, okay? Had a pretty rough time getting my grumpy big brother to let me stay, but no one can resist a bit of the ol' Tatsuha charm! Yup, I'm just one lucky guy! You've got a nice owner, too, you know that, Kuma-_san_? You're a lucky bunny, and I'm a lucky guy! We make a good pair, _ne_?"

A few of the spectators laughed at the spectacle, and even Hiro had a benign expression on his face. Ryuichi's eyes widened a bit, as he pulled a bright orange gel pen from his pocket, grinning triumphantly. "Ha! Found it, no da! Now, Tatsuha-_san_, give me your hand!"

Blushing, the teen complied. Ryuichi began scribbling down the numbers rapidly, not paying much attention to the other male's state of face. "Now, remember to call me any time you want to see me...I'm usually busy from nine in the morning to five in the evening, but any time else, I'm free, no da! So I guess night, around dinnertime is the best time...but I don't mind if you really needed to talk with me and you called any other part of the day, either! I won't get mad, I promise!"

"Aa...sure..." Was Tatsuha's hesitant reply.

Amidst the jovial audience, Hiro watched Shuichi out of the corner of his eye. However, the sight of the depressed boy furthered his frown, and began to make him wonder what they could possibly do next.

* * *

"Whoa...can you believe how big those shopping malls were! We don't have places like this back in Kyoto! Man, Tokyo's a lot better than I thought it'd be!"

Hiro shook his head in exasperation as Tatsuha made yet another carefree and excited comment. It was getting somewhat tiring to him, but it was at least a comfortable contrast to Shuichi's depressed state of being. "Well, that's the best thing about Tokyo, probably; it's practically all urbanized, and there're so many shopping centers that it could take a tourist or a resident at least a few days to go through them all."

"Well, I dunno about you guys, but I could've gone through all those places easily in a little while, no da!" Ryuichi chirped, swinging his three large shopping bags left and right, but stopped when he realized Kumagorou was almost falling out of one of them. "You guys walk like turtles compared to Shu-_chan_ and I, no da!"

"That's just because you're smaller and faster than us! It's not fair for Hiro and me! Let's see how fast you can catch up to me now, Ryuichi!!" Following up with this challenge, the teen began dashing down the sidewalk and running off into the distance.

"Uwaa! Wait up, Tatsuha-_san_!! You're not being fair; you got a head start before meeee!!" Ryuichi whined for moment longer before going after the other sprinter in their, 'race,' bags tightly grasped in his hands.

Sighing in an annoyed manner, Hiro turned to the silent pink-haired boy beside him. "So, you had fun today?"

"Yeah...I guess so, anyway. Even if it didn't really get my mind off of things too much...I really appreciate it, Hiro." He smiled sadly at the longhaired teenager. "I'm sorry about all this, though...I know you probably wanted to just hang out normally with me and not with Ryuichi or Tatsuha-_san_...they kinda ruined the whole plan, I guess."

"Nah, it's alright." Lightly grinning, the redhead shuffled his friend's pink locks fondly. "As long as you're happy, I'm happy."

Sheepishly embarrassed, Shuichi perked up a bit. "Thanks! Although I'm not really that happy, your words made me feel a bit better...much obliged, Hiro."

_If only he could smile like that a little more often..._ Hiroshi quickly pushed the thought aside, however, as he turned around. "So...ready to go back home, Shu? We've already bought our outfits at the mall for tonight...you didn't forget about the concert with Nittle Grasper tonight, did you?"

"Wouldn't miss it for the world." A slight smile appeared on the singer's visage, and he grabbed Hiro's hand energetically. "Let's go!"

Somewhere out on the Tokyo streets, Tatsuha and Ryuichi were sitting together on a park bench, catching their breath. The white shopping bags, lying forgotten on the grass, darkened in the shade of the sunset-laced sky.

"Huff Jeez, Sakuma-san! I didn't--puff--know you could run that fast!"

Ryuichi had long gotten his wind back, and was back to speaking normally. "Just because I look small doesn't mean I can't win a race, no da! But that means I win, and now I'm gonna give you the consolation prize!"

Tatsuha stopped gasping, and stared openly at his companion. "'Consolation prize?'"

Grinning slightly, Ryuichi held out a pair of small tickets, which somehow emerged from his back pocket without the other noticing. "Tickets to tonight's Bad Luck-Nittle Grasper joint concert, no da! Tohma wanted to give them to Yuki-_san_, but since you're here, I'll give them to you and ask you to deliver one to him!"

Obsidian eyes gently appreciated the other's innocently round face, and the owner of them smiled. "Thanks, Sakuma-_san_. I'll give one to _Aniki_, and I'll keep the other for myself. Guess that means I'll be seeing you later at the concert, _ne_?"

"Uh-huh! Oh, and can you just call me, 'Ryuichi,' no da? I don't like honorifics."

"O-Oh, no, I shouldn't really do that...I don't even know you very well, Sakuma--"

Wagging a defiant finger, Ryuichi frowned and lightly poked his friend's nose. "Nope! No honorifics! Just, 'Ryuichi,' or, 'Ryu-_chan_,' no da!"

Tatsuha admitted defeat, finally, smirking. "Alright...Ryu it is. See you later, okay?"

Surprisingly, Ryuichi leapt up and hugged his new buddy. "OK! Bye, Tatsuha-_san_! See you tonight!"

And Tatsuha couldn't have been happier as he watched Ryuichi departing form in the sunset, feeling considerably warmer than before.

* * *

"_Aniki_? Hey, _Aniki_? Did you leave the lights off aga--? Oh, you're right there. Don't scare me like that!"

Glaring at the returning Tatsuha, a pair of sharp golden eyes studying the sweating boy. "Where the hell have you been all day? And what's with that grin on your face?"

His smile only widened further. "Why, I thought you would never ask, beloved big brother...'cause **I** found Sakuma-_san_ today! And he was so CUTE; you know, he even HUGGED me when he saw me in the record store, **and** he gave me his _number_, and we went to--"

"Spare me the details, Tatsuha, SERIOUSLY. I'm sure I can do without the play-by-play, alright?" The blonde sighed deeply, holding his forehead quietly. "I've got enough of a headache from Mizuki's nagging, and I really don't need to hear you gushing about that pop star right now, got it?"

"It's SAKUMA-_SAN_, _Aniki_!"

"Whatever. Didn't I tell you to shut up? _You're worse than that brat, I swear..."_

Tatsuha's expression grew serious, however, and he grabbed one of the concert tickets from his back pocket. "Here, it's a gift from Tohma. The joint concert for Bad Luck and Nittle Grasper is tonight...he got tickets for the both of us. Your boyfriend's the lead singer of Bad Luck, isn't he? Shuichi? I met him today, actually; he was with Ryuichi, that's how it happened. But, you know...the way Mika _nee-chan _described him, he was a lot more cheerful..."

This apparently caught the adult's attention, and what was as close to a look of surprise you could invoke from Yuki Eiri appeared. "What are you talking about?"

"Well, I mean, Mika said he was an excitable little guy with pink hair...if you ask me, I think I met the wrong person. This Shuichi wasn't hyper at all! Kinda a shame, actually; he's sorta cute...in a way, he looks a bit like Ryuichi..."

"You think everyone looks like that singer." Eiri retorted halfheartedly, too busy caught up in his own thoughts to really say it with much feeling.

_Why was Shuichi upset for? Practically nothing gets that brat down...unless..._

_Did my kicking him out really mess him up that much? Or did something happen to him?_

"Hey ..."

"Yeah, _Aniki_?"

"...I'll come to this concert of theirs tonight. I think Shuichi and I need to have a little talk."

* * *

_**goku-the-saru: Goku-san, you're so sweet. - I'll work on the next chapter as fast as I can, and thankfully, the Labor Day Weekend means three days of free time...I can get done with my homework AND update chapters for Twilight, Red Hardcover Novels, and Paradise! Yay! Keep reading, sweetie, and I'll get some more chapters up ASAP. Sankyuu for the review!**_

_**clari-chan: Yes, that was what I wanted all the Ryuichi fans to think, because there's nothing cuter than a man-child wielding a Kumagorou! XD No, seriously, I wanted everyone to think Ryuichi was adorable, because though he IS that, I want there to be an element of surprise for the people who will soon see him that your own private plot spoiler without actually being a spoiler. I'm trying to update fast, but I can't say too much for my reliability. Either way, enjoy this one, and sankyuu for the review!**_

_**deppfan1016: Ha-ha...I'm sure ALL the Eiri fans want to see more of him, ne? Not that I blame you; Yuki's awesome, but I was waiting 'till the chapter after this one to bring him back in again. And Shu x Yuki fans are probably screaming at me to stop torturing Shuichi and bring him back to Yuki already...next chapter, folks, I promise! Tatsuha DOES play a part in this story—and because I'm hopefully getting my copy of Gravitation DVD 2 in the mail soon, I think he shows up in the later episodes, so I should have his personality and internal voice down by then. - I've seen him in the manga, too, but I like basing the characters off the anime sometimes so I can imagine their voice actors playing in my head as I write the dialogue. Then, I can get a better grasp on how they would speak, you know? Nevertheless, I won't spoil what role Tatsuha plays, exactly, yet, but stay tuned and you'll see. Sankyuu for the review!**_

_**kanilla: Thank you for the compliment! Sometimes, I really don't feel like my work is all that good, and I tend to point out all the bad things in my stories...ah, well; we're all our own worst critics, and we're supposed to see the negative qualities in ourselves to make them better, ne? I'm such an optimist...anyway, yes, Ryu-chan is ADORABLE, and I love him for it...I'm planning on making his split personalities apparent, though, once the next chapters come along. And I'm glad you're sticking around—the more, the merrier, I always say! Sankyuu for the review, kanilla-san! **_

_**i love athrun: :D Sankyuu for the review!**_

**_the wolf hybrid fox: 00 I'm bleeding?! But that means I won't be able to finish the storyyyy... [Falls over and faints] _**

_**[Revives herself magically] Ha-ha, just kidding. ;) Stick around, wolf-san, and I'll get the next chapters up soon. Sankyuu for the review!**_

**_tangerine-asuka: I'll try to update quickly. It's nice to see a new face, though, so welcome to the world of Paradise! Sankyuu for the review, and keep checking for the next chapter!_**

_**Kitty In The Box: I'm getting there, huh...? Hmm...that just means I have to work extra hard! [Determined flame] Well...I guess I can't TOTALLY get the spirit of Gravitation in this story, considering it's MEANT to be a semi-AU and be a lot more serious and angst-y than the actual series...I love the actual series, too, of course! But it's always fun to change things around a bit, ne? Ah...I think I have answered the question of Tatsuha's importance in this story to another reviewer, but I'll give you the same answer so you both aren't uneven: Tatsuha IS important to the story, but it's only in later chapters that such a role will become vital. And you aren't asking too many questions, Kitty-san; actually, I think you gave good points that sounded like they would be included in a, 'preview for the next episode,' skit! XD Seriously! And all your questions will be answered soon; maybe just not immediately, but soon. - Sankyuu for the review!**_

_**Ochako107: Jakukie-san!? You're computer's working again?! Yahoo! - I'm so happy that's the case! Sorry I didn't come to school today; lately, ever since two days ago, I've been feeling rather sickly, and this morning I woke up feeling, (I almost never say things like this, so consider it a rare moment of weakness, okay?), quite shitty. My throat was so DRY! Oh, and I wound up drinking iced green tea. Do you like green tea, Jakukie-san? I suppose it must be an acquired taste, because I didn't like it at first, but the taste eventually grew quite addicting. Green tea does wonders for a sore throat, (at least, I THINK it's one; have to go to the doctor to find out later ;;), and for the tired soul. I hope I'm not turning into a tea-child like you, Jakukie-san! (J/k! You're characteristically Jakukie that way, and I wouldn't have my little Ochako any other way!) And in the original series, Shuichi DOES actually get raped...by who, I won't tell, (next DVD, though, I think, and it's coming out soon...expect an invitation over again soon, Jakukie-san... ), and for what reasons, I won't tell; but know that I'm just taking things in this story and that instance to a, 'What-if?' Level. Sankyuu for the review, and I hope to see you on the bus tomorrow!**_

**This chapter hopefully answered some of your questions; some, unfortunately, may not be taken into consideration or answered until later on. We're only a few hours, (in the story's time, anyway), from the joint concert with Bad Luck and Nittle Grasper, and you can expect a really emotional concert, hopefully...if only I could just decide which song I want to include in the story to make this work! ;; Any ideas, people? I'd love to hear your feedback. Compliments or criticism in the form of reviews are welcome, and until next chapter...rock on, people!  
**


	8. Chapter 7: Interlude Of Ryuichi

****

Chapter 7: Interlude of Ryuichi****

**Standard Disclaimer Applies**

**_This is the moment all of us had been waiting for—or maybe not, who am I to say?—the joint concert with Bad Luck and Nittle Grasper, in which already, (in this story, anyway), all of the tickets for it are completely sold out. Both bands are pretty popular, as you may already know. _**

****

**_I can't say much else for the actual popularity levels, because truth be told, things like that aren't as important in this story as the relationships between the characters are. I just wanted everyone to realize that while many of these characters are very dedicated to their music, it's the people and their personal conflicts I'm focusing on in this story. I might have another Gravi fic that focuses more on music, but…that's another problem for another day. One baby step at a time, folks._**

****

**_This chapter is in Ryuichi's point of view. I've never really done a lot of work with him before, so bear with me if it's not up to par with the way you perceive him to be. I still hope you guys like it anyway. I actually would like to title this part of the story, "I Wish," because that best describes this chapter on a whole. _**

****

**_Everyone, expect more frequent, faster updates on this story, some much-needed updating to Twilight and Red Hardcover Novels, (especially the latter), and for you lucky 39 58 fans, there MAY be some drabble ficcies coming your way. Ganbatte mashita ne, minna-san! I'll do my best, everyone!

* * *

_**

Many people have once before called me a genius. Whether they were speaking of my music; the band I had brought to the spotlight; the lyrics that were made up of every single thing I wanted most to say without real words involved, it was always a compliment for my sake. Back then, Nittle Grasper topped everything; were the word on the tip of everyone's tongue that would almost always be shown off, as if we were a startlingly gold trophy every person in Japan wanted to share with the rest of the world.

Quite honestly, as much as I loved music and the business it involved itself in, I really don't prefer the spotlight. One may find that hard to believe; but lately, more than ever, I have been finding it to be even more of a definite fact. Perhaps it's selfish or foolish to say so, but I almost envy the, 'normal,' people, the ones who love to just sit back, watch the world unfold, and not really have a care or worry about their future.

Sometimes, I wished I were born that way. Sometimes, I wished I was never born. Would things have been different? Would my past have been different; my present? Sometimes, I like to think of things like that, even if it hurts a little. I've been concentrating on deep, analytical subjects like that less and less lately, though. And though you wouldn't think so, it's because of the people I've met and befriended lately that started this strange alteration of mind patterns.

Shuichi hasn't been himself today, and it's really frightening to know why. I mean, Hiroshi-_san_ wouldn't have any reason to lie about anything--and certainly not something like this—but I feel so terrible…Shu-_chan_ doesn't, or I should say, 'didn't,' deserve to be taken advantage of.

I wonder how Yuki-_san_ will react. Hmm…although from what everyone tells me, he will probably be very angry inside; yet not show anyone on the outside. Sometimes, I wish I could be emotionless like that. Sometimes, I want to be someone else for a change, and not foolish Ryuichi, the dreamer with too much to think about.

Outside, it's begun to rain quite hard. It's a good thing that our concert will be indoors, I think to myself as I slowly get into the shower for a long soak in the tub. After all that running around today, I feel rather tired. I think Kuma-_san_ is, too, no da. I put him on the left side of the bathroom counter, and I think he likes it better there. Kuma-_san_ doesn't like getting wet. He told me once before—a few weeks ago, even.

While the cold raindrops pitter-pattered on the windowsill, I lay in the hot water, enjoying its feel. My mind drifts for a moment, forming song lyrics like it always does when at a loss of something to do. It's become almost a habit now. I should get a paper pad and write this down; the idea may come in handy one day. A song about hope, sloshing soap bubbles foaming up and falling onto the laminate flooring, while the inhabitant of the bathtub thinks of dark hair and velvet eyes…

_RIIIING!_

The telephone, na no da? Someone's actually calling here at seven-'o-clock at night? After musing this out loud for a moment, I slowly stand up to grab a towel from the nearby rack and dash to the living room to pick up the phone.

"Hello? Who is it?" I asked quickly into the receiver.

"Ah! Ryuichi-_san_…I hadn't realized you were going to pick up the phone so quickly, I'm sorry. Have I…disturbed you from anything?"

Immediately recognizing the voice, I grinned from behind the barrier of the telephone. "Tohma! No, I'm fine, no da! Whatcha doing?"

I could almost swear that Tohma was laughing quietly, but I couldn't be sure. Either way, his next words sounded serious enough. "Ah…well, you see, I'm taking a drive to Kyoto to see Mika-_san_…I wanted to be at the hospital before tomorrow, since Usuegi-_san_ called to tell me she had checked in earlier this afternoon."

"The baby's finally coming, Tohma?! Oh, congratulations! Have you two decided on a name or anything? Is it a boy or a girl? C'mon, Tohma, you've gotta tell me, no da! We're supposed to be best friends!" I was a bit curious to find out about these things, but quite honestly, I was only making light conversation to keep my mind off the growing conflicts happening as of late. I don't like depressing thoughts very much, even though it's very hard sometimes to prevent them.

"It's a girl, Ryuichi-_san_…and we plan to call her Hitomi-_chan_." The polite blonde answered with a cheerful hint in his voice. "In about a week or so, I'll come back to Tokyo and let you see her, alright? Mika-_san_ should be recovered by then."

I began twirling the phone cord around a damp index finger. "OK! That sounds great, na no da…! Um…I'm gonna get dressed now; the concert's in a little while, you…it stinks you're not gonna be there to play, but you've set up a substitute for us, right? It won't be the same without you, Tohma…"

Despite my blatant whining, Tohma was chuckling. "Ha-ha…yes, Ryuichi-_san_, I've already set up a replacement for the keyboard, but Noriko-_san_ will be there. As for my position as N-G Records president, that too has been attended to. I _am_ quite sorry I couldn't be there, but I'm afraid my family must come first..."

I really wished I had a family to relate things to right then. Or, at the very least, if not proper guardians or siblings, then at least a way to make my parents love me. The sad thought was too dark to dwell on at the moment, and I put back on the happy façade. "…Well, that's okay, Tohma; I understand, no da! Just do your thing, and we'll see you in a week! Bye-bye!"

And I hung up the phone without much else talk, not really wanting to. I really hate being so cowardly.

Kuma-_san_ thinks I'm being silly, but I don't think even he has the mental capacity to understand the human need for love.

* * *

The spotlights up above were so shiny I almost had to shade my eyes, and I went squealing for the fifth time that night as Shuichi glomped me yet again. I was glad he was at least **pretending** to be in a better mood, but even a cheerful person like me has a limit. Please, stop jumping on me, Shu-_chan_? You're gonna rip my outfit, no da…

Out of all the costumes I've worn to my concert, not only is this my newest one, (I got it from the mall with Shu-_chan_ just today, in fact), but the most lavish one I've ever attempted to show off. The olive-colored tank top with the words, 'STAR,' emblazed on the front of it was a bit tight, but I really liked the color on me. My jeans were barely hanging on by the too-small belt I had grabbed at random from my closet, and now I regretted not being more careful when choosing those kinds of things. I felt somewhat slutty, almost, having pants that were nearly falling off me. And it's not like they're hand-me-down clothes, either; they're my size, but the waist was so BIG! Na no da…I never liked belts, anyway. From now on, I'm getting pants that are a size smaller than what I usually wear, and that's that!

"_Ne_, Ryuichi!" Shuichi squeaked happily, leaping on me once again. "I didn't see Seguchi-_san_ come behind the stage yet…is he coming tonight or what?"

"Well, Tohma said he's gonna be in Kyoto for a while…Mika-_san_ is having a baby, no da!"

Shuichi, surprised, expressed the most prominent expression I had seen on his face all day. "Wow…really?! Is it a boy or a girl?"

"Tohma says they think it's a girl, no da! They wanna call her Hitomi-_chan_…isn't that soooo cool!?"

"_Haaaaiii_…_sugoi deshou!_ I can't wait to see the little baby! I bet she's gonna look just like Mika-_san_!"

Grinning, I patted Shuichi's shoulder kindly. "Uh-huh! I guess that means Yuki-_san_'s gonna have a niece soon, right, na no da?"

Oh, no…that was probably the WORST thing to be saying right now. Even _mentioning_ Yuki around Shuichi was the most hurtful, mood-deteriorating thing to do. My jubilant mood faded quickly, upon seeing the saddened look in Shuichi's normally lively indigo spheres. "…Yeah…I guess so."

"Shu-_chan_…_g-gomen nasai,_ na no da…" Awkwardly, I cast my gaze to where Kumagorou was: sitting beside my jacket on a small chair, vacuous black eyes staring back at me; taunting me, maybe? I'm not sure.

Hiro suddenly came up from behind Shuichi, nodding. "Shuichi; Ryuichi, we're on in a minute. Let's go!"

_"You're a lifesaver,"_ I murmured wordlessly to the complacent Hiro, but I don't think he was listening. Instead, he wrapped his arm comfortingly around the pink-haired teen and whispered something in his ear.

I watched, a bit enviously, as Shuichi said something back, and appeared considerably more cheerful as he leaned on the taller redhead's shoulder. It really was nice to watch people look out for one another; care about one another; _love_ one another, but it made me feel a little sadder, as I wished that I had a person who would be important and special to me.

It felt like an hour later when the curtain finally opened, and while I swallowed the cry of sweet anticipation, I caught a glimpse of the swarming multitude of people waiting for us. There were blondes, brunettes, and redheads of every age and size; most of the audience in the concert hall was made up of females, but I could see quite a few males in the crowd, too.

Suddenly, a familiar pair of figures came into view: one tall blonde wearing dark shades to cover startling amber eyes, and a slightly smaller teen with dark eyes. Tatsuha-_san_…I didn't even think you would come, let alone bringing Yuki-_san_ with you…

And then, I think he knew I saw him…because he smiled at me, so warmly…and his mouth was moving, too, as if he was trying to tell me something…

_"Ryuichi…I'll be cheering for you."_

The slow beat of the bass came as a shock to me, and I hastily snapped out of my dazed stupor to steady the microphone in my sweating palms. This was it: Bad Luck and Nittle Grasper were collaborating to perform the lesser known song on the _Gravity_ album, _In The Moonlight_. Quite honestly, I loved this composition the best out of all of Shuichi's songs, even if this one didn't get as much attention. It was pure…romantic…_real_.

And it expressed exactly how my emotions were at that moment, standing on the stage with someone in the crowd watching me.

**_ORENJI iro tsuki yoru ga kuruto _****_kimi no koto o omoi dasu_**

**_Kakko tsuketa ore no SERIFU wa _**

**_Hoka no dare kano SERIFU de…_**

******When an orange-colored moonlit night comes, ****I think of you,**

**As though the chic affectations in my words **

**Were someone else's words…  
****  
**Following these lines by Shuichi's light tenor voice, I leaned closer to the microphone, singing along with him for the next verse.  
  
**_Fui ni miageru SHIRUETTO _****_kimi no yokogao o terashita_**

**_Awai hikari wa…ima demo…_**

**Even now, I can remember the pale light **

**That illuminated your silhouette **

**As you suddenly glanced up at that night's sky...  
  
**Hiro began his part as the background vocals for the chorus, and Shuichi and I sang  
with all our hearts.  
  
**_Nani o matteru?  
_****_  
_****_Kimi wa inai heya?  
  
_****_Tokei dake ga ashi oto no youni  
_****_  
Nemurenai mune ni hibiku…  
_****_  
Ima mo matteru,  
_****_  
Hitori tomatteru  
_****_  
Futari mita anohi no tsuki o ima dokode kimi wa miteru?_****  
  
What is it I'm waiting for?  
****  
In this room without you?****  
  
It's just the clock's ticking, but it resonates in my sleepless heart like  
****  
The sound of footsteps…****  
  
Even now I'm waiting;  
****  
I stop here alone.****  
  
From where do you see the moon now that we saw together on that day?  
******  
Faintly, from somewhere past the reaches of my deep conscious, I could hear the  
audience cheering us on. But for the moment, I was too busy setting my mind's  
eye—as well as my physical ones—on a smiling face illuminated by the windowpane's  
reflected moonlight.

_"Ryuichi…I'll be cheering for you."

* * *

_

"Hey. How long are you going to keep ignoring me? You damn brat."  
  
"Y-Yuki…!"  
  
Piercing golden eyes glared at the smaller boy before him. "Why didn't you come home last night? I thought you said you would never leave me. You intend to break off on that promise?"  
  
"_Gomen_…I got sidetracked…some things happened, and I was staying at Hiro's house for the night."  
  
Instead of actually taking the time to reply, the blonde sighed and leaned forward just enough to bring his lips against the teenager's own.  
  
"Yuki…why…?"  
  
"…Do you have any idea how much sleep I lost over you? You're such an idiot."  
  
Sobbing suddenly, Shuichi collapsed from pure mental exhaustion in his lover's arms. "I'm sorry…I'm so sorry, Yuki…it's my own fault all this happened…a-and now it's too late, so…"  
  
Unlike past times, he didn't pull away. Instead, the bubblegum-haired vocalist was tightly embraced within careful arms. "…Just be quiet for right now. It's okay, so stop crying already…I'm not mad at you, alright?"  
  
The night Yuki Eiri was most gentle, in the back courtyard of Tokyo's concert hall,his only live spectators to see it then were Tatsuha and I. And somehow, I think Yuki-_san_ would be relieved to know that.

* * *

**_goku-the-saru: Maa, maa, there's no need to curse at me…I've fulfilled _****_almost all my reader's wishes that Yuki would be reunited with Shuichi in this _****_chapter, so I hope you're happy! :P Nah, I'm not that bitter; _****_seriously, guys, _****_enjoy it. I wanna see those two happy as much as you all do, so I enjoyed _****_writing that part, too. Sankyuu for the review!  
  
_****__****_kanilla: Awww, sankyuu, Kanilla-san! :D I'm glad that you think I'm a, _****_'miracle worker,' although I hardly consider myself one. Ah, well, _****_everyone's entitled to their own opinion, ne? Hai, they really are so cute. _****_Hmm…Ryu-chan and Taa-san…I might have them get-together at the end…_****_depends on how many people want it. I'm leaning towards, 'yes,' at the _****_moment for now, though, since so many people have said they were cute in the_****_ last chapter! Anyway, hope to hear more from you, and sankyuu for the review!  
  
_********_deppfan1016: [Starts giggling hysterically] HAHAHA! OH MY GOSH, YUKI, A _****_PEDOPHILE?! HAHA! I SERIOUSLY DOUBT IT, DEPP-SAN!! OH JEEZ, THAT GAVE ME_****_ A SERIOUS LAUGHING FIT WHEN I SAW THAT—HAHA!!_**** [Calms down finally] _Okay. _****_Anyway, yes, I admit Shuichi is a little more...youthful looking in the anime version_****_…maybe_ _Studio Wowwow likes Shota? XD Ah, well. I still think Shuichi is sweet and _****_one of the most awesome ukes around, especially with Seki-san doing his voice. _****_Whenever he's whining, 'Yuuuukiii…,' it's just so adorable. Tomozaku-san was great as _****_Kyou-kun of Fruruba, too, but that's just my opinion…I like Yuki a lot, too, and I really _****_agree with your insight on him, by the way. I hope to hear from you in the next chapters, _****_and sankyuu for the review!_****__****__**  
  
**_KageKitsune16: A new reviewer, great! YAY! [Starts throwing confetti all around] _****_Well, I'm _****_glad you liked the TatRyu bit in the last chappie; here's some more in this part for you, sweetie, _****_because you were nice enough to review. Well, actually, it's also because quite a lot of my _****_other reviewers seem to be TatRyu fans…I like 'em, too, so this was enjoyable and absolutely _****_wonderful for me to write. Stick around for the next installment, and sankyuu for the review! _****_(And now you got your question about Shu and Yuki in this chapter, so I hope that clears things up _****_for you.)_********_  
  
dede and I love athrun: Yes, I've updated; and quicker than ever! _****_Sankyuu for the reviews, you two!_********_  
  
Kitty In The Box: Oh, you liked the contrast? [Blush] Sankyuu, dear. I hope you like what's happening _****_so far with this fic…next chapter, I plan on having some more Shu x Yuki moments, but for now, everyone_****_ will just have to make do with this. Sankyuu for the review, Kitty-san, and see you next chapter!_********_  
  
Kitten Fang: You don't even have to ask me to review, friend. [Smiles] I'll do so of my own accord, so _****_no worries! And I'm VERY flattered you think Paradise is good… [Is blushing] I wanted my fic to stand out _****_amongst the other great stuff they have in the fandom, but I also wanted people to know what I thought _****_personally _****_and see that in my writing…ah, I'm such an idealist dreamer. Anyway, sankyuu for the review, _****_and I'll hopefully see you next chapter!_**

****

******_Because of Hurricane Frances being warned to hit Florida, we didn't have school yesterday, today, and because it's Labor Day Weekend, that means we technically have a 5-day weekend! :D Well, 6-day for me, because I stayed home on Wednesday…I felt really sick, then, and I'm actually still sick now. Stupid cold that acts like allergies and gives me an annoying cough! RAWR. _**

****

**_You guys are so freaking awesome! [Cries] I have so many reviews for this fic now. Fifty, man, FIFTY! Holy crap, that's what I say! It's gonna get harder and harder to keep up with answering all this feedback at the way WE'RE going…sheesh. Don't worry, though; I honestly love communicating with you guys and letting you know I got your messages. I think that in the fan fiction world, feedback with other fans, next to the actual story, is the most important thing. That's just my opinion, of course; but I was just letting you know what I think. _**

****

**_See you next chapter, everyone!_**

****

****

**__**


	9. Chapter 8: Rewrite

**Chapter 8: Rewrite**

**Standard Disclaimer Applies**

**_Hello again, fellow readers and reviewers; and welcome to yet another installment of the ever-capricious, thought-provoking, dreamy world of _Paradise._ Keruri here, with a little A/N for the people who care to listen to her, even though this authoress's beginning notes have not yet been so long since a fair amount of time ago. Or, at the very least, not since I started writing fan fiction and my ideas were lesser known and less coherent. _**

**_Recently, I've taken an interest in the anime series Full Metal Alchemist, or to the Japanese-loving people who prefer the original title, Hagane no Renkinjutsushi. Have any of my reviewers seen any episodes of this series? I'm interested in checking it out, since I've heard very good things about it already; but I'd like to hear it straight from you guys. Is it as good as everyone says it is? Is there any interesting character you guys would like to share with me; Ed; Roy; Al; Hawkeye; Winry? I'll know what or who you're talking about; I promise. And if I don't, I'll make an effort to find out. If you have no idea what I'M talking about, well...that's okay, too, right? :D_**

_**Well, enough of the off-topic chat; I'll shut up now to let you all continue reading. I hope you will enjoy this chapter of Paradise, and I'll be back at the end of this chapter to answer everyone's reviews.**_

* * *

**_Kishin da omoi o hakidashitai no wa_**

**_Sonzai no shoumei ga ta ni nai kara..._**

**_Tsukan da hazu no boku no mirai wa_**

**_"Songen" to "jiyuu" de nujun shiteru yo..._**

**Wanting to spit out the jarred thoughts is**

**Because there's no other proof of my existence...**

**My future that I should've grabbed hold is**

**Conflicting between "dignity" and "freedom..."**

**--From the 4th _Full Metal Alchemist_ ending theme, _Rewrite._ **

The next day, things were slightly different at N-G Studios, though not exactly showing in a blatant form. For one thing, the absence of Seguchi Tohma was barely recognized to the public eye, even if every staff member there knew the reason of his disappearance and the actual fact of it. And for another, as Suguru noted quietly while attempting to play a rather simple tune on his keyboard, Shindou Shuichi was acting rather quiet today.

Normally, the keyboardist of Bad Luck would have to reprimand the pink-haired vocalist at least thrice, (most of the time even more than that), during their rehearsal or recording sessions; and on a daily occasion, these admonishments would go ignored or obliviously unnoticed. Today, Suguru didn't even have to talk with the elder musician once.

"Is there something wrong with Shindou-_san_ today?" Suguru finally came out and asked Hiro during one of their breaks. "Not with his music or anything like that, but...he's been quite the shy one today. Has something happened?"

"Well...let's just say a little chipper bird sent a message to me saying that Shuichi and his novelist friend made up last night, after the concert."

Despite this cryptic remark, Suguru understood what the older teen meant; the smallest of smiles crept onto the normally serious boy's face. "...Is that so? Then we should make good progress in the next few days, even with Seguchi-_san_ absent from the company. Still, the sudden change in Shindou-_san_'s personality is almost baffling, really. I've never seen him quite so silent or serious."

Hiro smirked, too. "Neither have I."

The young guitarist, however, now had even more to think about regarding Shuichi's behavior than ever. In a slightly wistful mood last night, Hiro had internally wished that if Yuki let the boy back into his life, Shuichi would start to revert back to his normal self again.

_But hope and actually happening are two different things...and, well, for the record, I doubt Shuichi will be getting happier any time soon, if at all ever. It's a pretty depressing, morbid thought, yes; but at least it's halfway realistic. And with Seguchi-san Missing In Action, with him being one of the few people able to perhaps help us find out whoever did this in his place, what kind of shred of hope is there even left for us to feed off of?_

"Hiroshi-_san_?" Ryuichi had seemed to come out of nowhere, suddenly tugging the redhead's shirt sleeve innocently and snapping the young man out of his stupor. "...Hi! Where's Shu-_chan,_ no da?"

"Uh...I have no idea, actually. He just left for a bathroom break...so we're taking one, too. Why; you need to talk to him about something? If it's not too private, I'll give him the message." Hiro gently pulled over a chair for Ryuichi and sat beside him, the faint vibrations of speech coming from inside the meetings room next door. "Only if you want to, of course."

The adult suddenly looked very awkward, finding the cheap laminate flooring of the room very interesting. "Oh...well, I just wanted to ask Shu-_chan_ if everything went okay with Yuki-_san_ last night...I saw him take Shu-_chan_ home, and I haven't talked with Tatsuha-_san_ yet...so I dunno what went on."

"You and me both, buddy." Hiro considered the idea of calling the blonde author right now, casting a soft glance at Shuichi's discarded backpack. "But, you know...maybe it's none of our business trying to learn this kind of stuff...maybe it's better we leave those two to whatever it is they need to do?"

Ryuichi placed Kumagorou gently on the table; then, folded his hands together and tucked them delicately under his chin. "...You don't sound to fond of the idea either, Hiroshi-san. I think you're trying to question yourself of the same matter, right?"

It seemed that dropping the bunny meant being more serious and perceptive; Hiroshi sighed, more to himself than anything. "You're a lot smarter than the impression you give everyone. People probably think you're an idiot savant for that, you know...how could you tell?"

"Your voice was bitter when you spoke of Yuki-_san_...and I've seen the way you look at Shu-_chan_. You love him, don't you?"

Before scraping whatever amount of dignity he left to be facially surprised, (though also mentally), Hiro looked head on at the piercing blue eyes that were quite capable of claiming all of his secrets. "...What do you--?!"

It was a smile that graced the boyish male's feature's next—but it was a pensive one, and not the harsh one Hiro had been expecting. "...I'm not going to judge you, Hiro. Don't worry about it...your feelings are probably secret to everyone except myself...no one else would be able to tell; but then again, not many people can tell the signs of a secret love as well as one who has gone through the same years ago."

"...Who was it? Your secret admired one in the past, I mean."

Ryuichi heaved a quiet sigh before continuing, abruptly looking much more his age in that moment. "...When I was younger, and when Nittle Grasper was at the peak of it's popularity, I was in love with Tohma. In almost the same situation as you and Shuichi are, I had been best friends with him for quite a few years, even then; and it was that very sentiment that caused me the most sorrow..."

"You know the feeling; that guilty, terrible emotion in your heart that says you should never attempt such a relationship...that telling that person you care for them would destroy the friendship you've treasured for that long time." Hiro nodded sympathetically—he understood exactly what the other man was trying to convey. "So I stayed quiet about it...and it's remained that way for as long as I could remember. I have never told him what I felt towards him, nor anything that would tamper the bond we had already formed."

"But...you want to know something, Hiroshi-_san_?" The youthfulness in Ryuichi's voice was returning, just as he reached for the pink bunny once more. "I got over it...Tohma wasn't really the fated person for me, and those feelings dulled with the passage of time. I'm perfectly content with moving on, now...and I'm ready to find someone else, maybe...if I'm lucky enough."

Grinning quietly, Ryuichi hugged Kumagorou. "So...I'm not saying that _your_ feelings for Shu-_chan_ are going to change or fade away, Hiroshi-_san_, no da! But...you'll know in your heart if he's the right person for you. You'll just know it. For one, thing, you won't stop thinking about him...but the most important thing about true love is that...

"Your feelings will never actually disappear, no matter what happens between the both of you...that's real love!"

Hiro couldn't stop the coming smile after Ryuichi's uplifting words, nor did he attempt to halt its progress across his face. "...Thanks, Ryuichi."

* * *

"Yuki! Tatsuha-_san_! I'm home!" Lightly shutting the door behind him, the teenager managed a little smile when he saw the younger Usuegi brother sitting at the little living room table, drawing on a sketchpad determinedly. "...Tatsuha-_san_, what're you working on now?"

"It's what I've BEEN working on for a few weeks now, actually." The dark-haired teen smirked, and pushed his project over for Shuichi to get a better look at. "See? I'm trying to color in Sakuma-_san's_ face now."

The smaller male's eyes lit up in obvious surprise. "_Waii_...this is really nice, Tatsuha-_san_! Yuki never told me you were such a **good** artist! Does your family have a long line of celebrities in the arts or something?"

"Maybe in this generation." In a sibling-familiarity manner, Tatsuha ruffled the boy's bubblegum locks. "Now gimme back my picture of Ryuichi, squirt, or I might have to hurt you."

"Bite me." Shuichi teased with an easy grin—the happiest one he had displayed all week.

"Gladly." And with that, the teenager tackled his friend to the ground.

"Waahh! Hey, you're not being FAIR, Tatsuha-_san_!" Shuichi complained, pounding on Tatsuha's middle in protest. "For someone whose three years younger than me, you sure have a lot on me in height!"

"Hey, it's not my fault you're so damn small!" He countered, smirking as the boy continued to struggle. "Jeez, you're so feisty! No wonder _Aniki_ likes you so much. Bet you squirm around a lot in bed, _ne_?"

"EXCUSE ME?!" Shuichi turned bright red, managing to flip the other young man over and turned the tables by bringing his hands to attack Tatsuha's defenseless stomach.

"HAHA! S-Shit, cut it out, man; that tickles! H-how'd you figure out my t-t-ticklish spot!?"

"I didn't. Mwahahaha...but I know NOW!" Shuichi smirked malevolently, letting out a mischievous laugh.

Tatsuha frowned. "Man, you're evil! The only person who's relatively nice to me now is Sakuma-_san_! You're not my favorite friend anymore!"

Finally fed up with the yelling and squealing from outside of his office, Eiri poked his head out of the door; and twitched over the sight before him. "...What the fuck are you mongoloids doing?"

Instead of actually answering the question, both young males scrambled up from their position and simultaneously pointed at one another in remonstration. "...HE started it!"

There was an awkward silence, and Yuki Eiri held his hand to a throbbing forehead. "...I'm living with two freaking idiots. God help me." _Oh, well..._

_At least Shuichi's acting halfway normal. Not at all like he was yesterday..._

**--FLASHBACK--**

"_Yuki...I'm sorry about not being here lately..."_

"_Why? The house was pretty quiet without you gone. It was actually kind of peaceful."_

"_Mou, hidoi no!"_

"..."

"..."

"..._Ne, Yuki? Did you...really mean that?"_

"..._Shuichi. I was kidding, alright? And stop looking at me with that dumb look on your face. When you were gone...I did kind of miss you. So don't leave like that again without telling me, got it?"_

"..._Okay. Yuki? Thanks a lot. I love you."_

"_Hn." _

_I love you, too, baka._

"_Well...good night, Yuki."_

"..._Good night."_

**--END FLASHBACK--**

_Should I have said I loved him back last night? He may try to hide it, but I can tell his mood hasn't improved too much yet. And I still don't know what happened to him...maybe his friends will know what's going on...I should talk with Hiro or whatever that guy's name is tomorrow. He was with Shuichi after everything happened, so he should know._

"Yuki? Is something wrong? You've been standing at the door with a blank look in your eyes for almost two minutes now." Shuichi stared up at his lover with wide, compassionate indigo orbs, never dispatching his eyes from the blonde's own stormy gold ones. "...Are you okay?"

"I should be asking you that, _baka_. Not that you have to tell me or anything if you don't want to."

Tossing a guilty look to the nearby side table, Shuichi frowned softly. "I'm sorry...I don't really feel ready to tell everyone yet...if that's okay."

"Quit the self-sacrificing act already." Eiri reprimanded. "It's annoying, and it's not needed. I understand if you need more time, alright? Stop worrying."

_Because I hate that look you give me when you're trying to avoid the subject...and if you could stop doing that, then there might be a chance to get you to really smile again. _

The doorbell suddenly rang, and Shuichi perked up. "_Are_? I wonder who could be out at night wanting to talk to us...maybe it's Hiro...?"

"Yeah, yeah, we're coming!" Tatsuha tiredly shouted after the second, more persistent chime. "Jeez, whoever it is, they'd better be worth my time..."

The sound of the door opening, followed by Tatsuha's surprised gasp followed.

"R-Ryuichi...!"

"Tatsuha-_san_! Hi, there! Kuma-_san_ and I are happy to see you, too, no da!" Shuichi watched as the older vocalist glomped his surprised, 'housekeeper,' and quietly snickered upon seeing the young man's reaction to it. "Where's Shu-_chan_, na no da?"

"Right here!" Upon the older singer's request, Shuichi revealed himself and hugged Ryuichi in greeting. "Hey, you have something to talk to me about?"

Pulling away from his friend hastily, Ryuichi grinned lightly. "Oh, yeah; I do! Come outside with me, Shu-_chan_; let's talk outside, no da! Stay right here, okay, Yuki-_san_; Tatsuha-_san_? I promise we won't be too long..." The brown-haired adult continued to babble on and on, slowly making the progress on shoving poor Shuichi out of the door's way and decidedly shutting the wooden object.

Once the task was completed, however, the optimistic façade disappeared. "...So...what happened last night? With Yuki-_san_, I mean. Did he talk with you, Shuichi?"

Softly beaming, the teen nodded. "Uh-huh! I talked to Yuki last night...he was actually being pretty nice to me...although he still totally refused to open up to me completely. But I'm used to that by now..."

Ryuichi frowned in the similar way as his friend, as the smile disappeared slowly from Shuichi's visage in the same manner. "...I'm sorry. Have I said something bad, no da?"

"N-No, not at all, Ryuichi!" Shuichi reassured his hesitant doppelganger. "Anyway...what'd you want to talk with me about that you couldn't say in front of Yuki and Tatsuha-_san_?"

"Ah...well, it's about the latter of what you just said...I didn't want to talk about this in front of Tatsuha-_san,_ so..." A bit abashed, Ryuichi glanced at the cheap carpeting that littered the apartment building's floors. "You'll keep it a secret, won't you? You won't tell anyone, will you, Shu-_chan_?"

Now concerned, Shuichi nodded vigorously. "Of course not, Ryuichi! But what is it? Has something happened?"

"...I never thought it would happen, but...I think I love him...Tatsuha-_san,_ that is. I honestly love someone again...and I never imagined it would happen like this, but...I know for sure now."

Shell-shocked, the teen said absolutely nothing as the words sunk in.

_Ryuichi...one of my best friends, loves Yuki's little brother...and I love Yuki..._

_Well. Talk about your awkward relationships._

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**_KageKitsune16: Ah! Don't die on me yet, though! If you do, I'll have one less reviewer and the world will have one less person! XD Just kidding. Anyway, I'm glad you liked this chapter...and I'm also happy your expectations towards the characters were fulfilled. Oh, you're a RyuShu fan? I happen to like that coupling as well, and in some odd ways, I think it could work canon. The thing is...I prefer TatRyu, so that's what I plan on doing for_ Paradise_. But if you want, I might do a RyuShu one-shot unrelated to this story. That actually sounds like a neat challenge! :D In any case, I hope you've enjoyed this chapter as well, and sankyuu for the review!_**

_**clari chan: Hey, there, friendly reviewer! Haven't seen you in a bit! - I'm glad to hear from you, though; and I'm quite happy that you enjoyed the last few chapters. Yes, Tatsuha is romantic, but he's also a bit more mature in this fic than in the actual series...I hope you don't mind. :) Well, here's some more ShuYuki-ness for you in this chapter, and sankyuu for this review!**_

_**goku the saru: Aw...I wasn't exactly sure you could put it that way; but, yeah, I guess Yuki was pretty nice in the last chapter. :D I hope it wasn't in a badly-done, OOC manner, though...! Was it? =0 In any case, please enjoy this chapter too, and sankyuu for the review!**_

**_Kitty In The Box: Wow, you've addressed a lot of characters in that review! XD Well, I guess I'll take all the issues one at a time. Yuki WAS meant to be softer in that moment where he spoke with Shuichi...for me, I honestly think that Shuichi is the only person who can melt that icy blonde's heart. Is it just me, or are there some blondes in anime who have similarly cold, jaded personalities? I can name three off the top of my head, actually: Yuki of Gravi, Sanzou of Saiyuki, and Hisoka of Yami No Matsuei. It seems like a following pattern in the anime I'm, beginning to like more and more. Maybe that's just me, though. And Ryuichi IS awesome, especially an angst!Ryuichi. :D Yes, it's always the happy ones who make angst look the best, isn't it? Mika and Tohma's baby...yes, I'm quite happy for them, too; and that was a great comment you made about him and his, 'Eiri-san.' XD And Tatsuha is always awesome, so I agree with you about him, too. Sankyuu for the review!_**

_**kanilla: ; You don't have to beg, dear; I'll probably be putting Ryuichi and Tatsuha together, anyway; and after this chapter, I'm sure you're assured of that! I'm happy you liked my chapters so far, as well as this one, and I hope you'll stick around for more. Ah, Hitomi-chan, the cute little baby, is someone I hope to introduce in later chapters...because she'll be such a happy distraction from all the angst and seriousness, ne? I'll keep at it, then! Sankyuu for the review!**_

**_chibichibi-nekochan: Oh, you've reviewed all my chapters so quickly, sweetheart! Thank you for that courtesy act! I'm glad you're here to check out the world of _Paradise_, and I hope you'll stick around! Oh, you like SetoJou?? Me, too! They have such interesting chemistry, and I happen to love the pairings, shonen-ai or not, that have bickering in them. Makes for interesting fic interaction. :D Although, I can't say I've written ANYTHING in the Yuu-Gi-Oh fandom before, but I might consider it after seeing your profile. Sankyuu for the review! _**

**_deppfan1016: You liked my Ryuichi?! Oh, thank you, thank you, Depp-san! :D And yes, that's how I felt about many characters that are usually so happy and smiley; there is usually great pain and hardship that had to originate from their pasts for them to put up such a façade. It's almost a sure thing, most of the time, in those kinds of characters' cases. Yuki-san's kindness to Shu, I think, came at just the right moment...the poor boy was really going to give up hope on being normal, and Yuki coming in to comfort him was just what he needed to perk him up, if only a small bit. You can see that evidence in this chapter, where Shu-chan is still quiet, but more content with things. As far as the whole, 'pedophile,' issue, I'm happy you got a kick out of my response...although you DID seem a bit genki-er in that review from before. :D In any case, whether you've calmed down or not, I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and sankyuu for the review!_**

_**Ochako107: JAKUKIE-SAN! You've finally got an account here, dear?! I'm so happy for you! I checked out your story, which was very good, btw, and reviewed it, so if you haven't already, please check out my response to that wonderful little idea. Yes, I was safe during the hurricane, if not developing a slight case of cabin fever. And my freaky cough and illness is still annoying me, even as I'm typing this... TT EBIL COLD, or whatever the heck this thing is. And I'm glad you liked the Shu/Yuki interaction, and I hope to see you next chapter! Sankyuu for the review!**_


	10. Chapter 9: Anti Nostalgic

**Chapter 9: Anti-Nostalgic**

**Standard Disclaimer Applies **

**_Cheers__ Yay, we've reached the 70-reviews mark! I'm so happy; you all have no idea! I never expected this story to reach such heights—but we have, and now there's only one way to thank you guys for all the support that has been given: another chapter of _Paradise. **

**_What else did you think it was...? I don't carry around money with me, folks, so I'm afraid extra wealth is out of the question. I'm only giving you what I believe is the best gift I can that's in my ability to give. _**

**_So, here we have another chapter of somewhat the same old, same old plot bunnies—but the fact that Tachi actually (sort of), appears in this chapter is important, isn't it? Even if he IS technically our antagonist of this story...but that makes it all the more important that he shows up._**

**_Oh, and the long awaited Hiro and Yuki confrontation appears here, as you may have been able to tell from this chapter's title. So look out for those two things in this chapter...and that's all I have to say for now. Enjoy, everyone!_**

_**Toumei ga yozora somete**_

_**Hitori aruku itsumo no kaerimichi**_

_**Kuchizusamu konna kimochi**_

_**Nemuru kimi ni todoketai na OH...UM...**_

**Transparency dyes the night sky, and**

**I walk alone on the road that always leads home**

**Singing to myself, I want to send these kinds of feelings**

**To you in your sleep, oh...um... **

Hiro might not have even heard the voice speaking in that secluded room that one passes while taking the lesser-used corridor out of N-G Studios if it hadn't been for the fact that he noticed his shoelaces were untied. While in that moment he began to bend over, shaking his head in that silently exasperated manner a patient young man like himself would, a snippet of the occurring conversation in that room nearby caught on fro some reason.

"...The thing is; he doesn't really care about what happens to his band or his public image...all I need is to just _mention_ that sappy writer's name and that alone would make Shindou drop dead."

Flinching in slight shock over hearing his best friend's name uttered, Hiroshi stood upright, brushing his ear against the doorway. Who was that talking just now? And why did the words this person said have such an insidious tone to them? The redhead placed his bag carefully against a nearby wall, and continued eavesdropping.

"Are you serious? So you really did it?"

"That's tacky even for you, Tachi..."

_Tachi. That son of a bitch...what did he do to Shuichi?! If he's responsible for ANYTHING that's been happening so far, I swear..._ Hiro gritted his teeth in anger, but stayed perfectly still and calm on the outside. That really was Nakano Hiroshi, personified: a youth who was fiercely loyal to those he deemed important, and calm in most situations unless prompted to the extreme.

"It doesn't matter HOW the job gets done. The point is that with these pictures, once they're exposed to the media, Shindou and his music career will be put in the dust. And the top spot on N-G's record label will be ours."

_This cannot be fucking happening...Tachi did this to Shuichi all because of...because of a goddamn rivalry?! That self-centered bastard..._

Hiro, about ready to jump in their and most likely beat the very _life_ out of Tachi, started when another voice rose up and voiced almost exactly what he had been thinking.

"Fame isn't everything, Tachi! I mean, I know we've gotta try hard to rise to fame, man, but this is NUTS! What's so important about Shindou that you feel the need to practically torture the guy?!"

Was it 'Maa-_kun_,' who was talking just then? Hiro pondered the idea, quietly searching his memory; though he decided that whoever this person was, they really didn't seem like the type to hang around a jerk like Tachi. And he thanked them, silently, for stopping him from blowing his top just before.

"...You guys don't get it, do you?" An amused, malevolent chuckle. "He's a singer, and I'm a singer—that's just how it is. Besides...he's the one who isn't normal."

_I so badly wanna kick this guy's ass right now...but..._

_There's someone else who needs to know who did this more than I do..._

_I think it's about time I talked with Yuki-san again._

"W-What...? Ryuichi...are you **serious**?" Shuichi, gaping, stared at his converser with wide violet eyes, shocked at the confession that had just made.

"I'm not lying, Shu-_chan_. I really love Tatsuha-_san_...even when he wasn't here in Tokyo, I couldn't stop thinking about him after he left. Although I really don't understand why, I know that I want to be with him..." The older male suddenly expressed a pleading expression Shuichi's way, azure spheres fluttering with unspoken devotion, gentleness, and a tiny glimmer of hope. "You understand what I mean...don't you, na no da?"

"..._I just want to be with you, Yuki!"_

A small grin made its way across the boy's delicate features. "Yeah...I understand. Much more than you could even imagine, Ryuichi."

Ryuichi undoubtedly could be conceived pleased and comforted. "...Shu-_chan_! Thank you so much...I'm so _glad_ that you understand me...I didn't think anyone could..."

"Ryuichi. I'm just like you." Shuichi's voice was serious, and so were his eyes; but there was a clear, honest smile on his face—for the very first time that week. "I love Yuki, remember? I know that, because so matter what I do, I can never stop thinking about him. And no matter how hard I try, the feelings that I have will never fade...those feelings...they make me so happy sometimes that I almost feel as though my heart will burst..."

"That's how you feel, too, right? Love doesn't _really_ have a reason for the both of us...we just know that we want to be with that special person, for as long as possible. And that's alright, too...because as long as we're with that person, everything else fades away..."

"Shuichi..."

"I want to be with Yuki forever...however long that time is. That's what I'll always believe, and I'll never give into anyone! Even if it hurts, sometimes...even if other people say it's wrong for me to love another man...I still won't give up! I'll love him forever and ever, and I'll stay with him for that long, too...Ryuichi, let's make a promise! Even if Tatsuha-_san_ and Yuki forget about us, or disappear, we'll always love them...we'll always protect them and be with them...because love like this...a love like this..."

"A love like this will never die..." Ryuichi was almost in tears over this; he could see the unshed droplets at the corners of his eyes. "...Right?"

The sound of a motorcycle rumbling down the block made the two singers freeze in place; Shuichi hastily turned around and focused his ears in on the noise.

"Hiro's motorcycle...he must be here to talk with Yuki..."

"Shu-chan! _Hora, hora!_ Hide with me and Kuma-_san_, no da!" Ryuichi waved to the pink-haired boy from behind a large bush.

"W-What...? But why, Ryuichi?!" Shuichi asked impatiently, noting that the noise was drawing closer; behind him, a pair of shining headlights glowed and reflected off the nearby garbage can.

The brunette appeared very serious when he looked at Shuichi next, sharp, angular eyes narrowing. "I just have this feeling that we should let them talk...alone."

Not questioning any further and not really wanting to, Shuichi ducked behind the same place his friend was, squeaking in surprise when a plush –**something**- brushed against his rump.

"Don't worry, Shu-_chan_! That's just Kumagorou, no da! Don't sit on him, though, and be quiet so Hiroshi-_san_ doesn't see us!" Ryuichi chirped.

"B-But..._Ryuichi_!" Shuichi half-shouted in reply; their forms were so adjacently near each other that he was nearly on top of the other vocalist. And the close contact did not bode well with the pink-haired one's conscience...

"SHH!" Clearly, you couldn't not reason with this man—and as Hiro's motorcycle rolled up the driveway, Shuichi found himself reluctantly obeying.

After the motor was cut, abruptly leaving the atmosphere devoid of any noise except for the thudding of Hiro's sneakers nearing to the front door, and Shuichi and Ryuichi's hushed breathing.

Shuichi peered out from the partings in the leaves, watching the wooden object open with an audible _click, _light pouringonto the stone walkway.

"So you came here to talk with me once again...Hiroshi-_kun_?"

"Cut the bullshit, Yuki-**_san_**." Shuichi cringed he had never heard his best friend use such a scathing tone before, and much less so the sarcastic way the honorific had been used. "You know what I'm gonna say to you, right? I think you remember our conversation last time..."

_Last time?_ He hadn't realized he had said anything out loud, until Ryuichi kicked him hard in the shin rather uncharacteristically. Shuichi hissed in anger and pain, but continued to be quiet and listen. He didn't like that cold, focused look in Ryuichi's eyes one bit, and certainly did not want to oppose it.

"That I should never make him cry out of anything other than his own stupidity, right? Or you'd never forgive me? Yeah, I remember...but he's fine now; I let him back in the house, so what are you REALLY here for?"

"Are you **purposely** trying to fucking mess around with my HEAD?!" Hiro, finally loosing any restraint he may have had before, grabbed the blonde roughly by the shirt collar. "Just shut up and listen, alright?! Shuichi was fucking RAPED, and by some rival band member with a grudge on him! And you say he's FINE?! Shuichi cries constantly at night, wondering why things had to happen this way!

Hiro suddenly gave a bitter laugh. "He came to me in TEARS, saying that he still loved you! He still wanted you, even though it was YOUR fault that he was gang-raped and kick to the CURB like a goddamn ANIMAL! YOU were the cause of all his pain, yet he still loves you!"

"Do you even CARE?! Does it even touch your conscious one BIT, which didn't just include what happened two days ago, but whatever else he had to endure, that he did this all because he loves you?! He didn't do it for the band, me, Fujisaki, his idol, or ANYTHING else! He went through with it for YOU! And you treat him like SHIT, Yuki-_san_; like a bunch of garbage you think you can step on any time you want to!"

After this sudden bout of screaming, the night stilled; presently, Shuichi was breathing hard, though it was too far away from the other two speakers for them to hear. Ryuichi shifted uncomfortably against him.

"...So, if I've got all that right, then let me ask you one more question, Hiro-_kun_..."

Eiri then displayed such a dangerous, murderous glare in his eyes that even Hiro shivered. "...Who's the guy who did this, and where can I find him?"

"...Aizawa Tachi." --Shuichi shuddered at the very mention of that name-- "...And you can find him at N-G Studios. The first lounge on the second floor; you can't miss it."

Without another word, the author stormed off towards the three-car garage, golden eyes glinting viciously under the moonlight.

Hiroshi was gaping. "...Is that guy seriously gonna kill him? He sure as hell looks enough like it..."

"Yeah, well...my brother's weird like that, sometimes! And even if he doesn't always show it, he's really got a thing for your best friend...Hiroshi-_san._"

Hiro whirled around to face the vaguely amused Tatsuha. "...Who are you?"

"TATSUHA!"

Ryuichi squealed suddenly, as went bounding out from behind the shrubbery for the dark-haired teenager in that instant. However, he forgot about the person who had been leaning against him; and in a flying, screeching, flailing heap, Shuichi and Ryuichi went flying into plain view of Tatsuha and Hiro in a rather...compromising position.

Tightly pinned under the small arms of Shuichi, the brunette stared up at his accidental captor's eyes in silent confusion. "...Shu-_chan_...?"

It was like a domino effect: the one action done caused a double reaction to take place. Hiro, though only loosely showing his amusement within deep mahogany eyes. Tatsuha was shell-shocked, and blatantly illustrated it.

Hiro chuckled just then, looking surprisingly happier than before. "Wow...and here wouldn't think that **you'd** be the _seme_, Shuichi..."

The dark-haired male's jaw didn't even hit the ground fast enough. "Oh, my god...how COULD you, Shuichi?! I thought we were FRIENDS!"

Suddenly realizing what his friends were hinting at, Shuichi went bright red. "HEY! I'm not like that, you guys! And besides, you think I'd be cheating on Yuki for one of my FRIENDS?! You've gotta be shitting me!!"

Ryuichi, unfortunately, was left very confused, as he was not adept in understanding sexual undertones.

"W-What?! What did Ryu-_chan_ DO, no da? Did he do something really, really bad?! Taa-_saaaaann_...Hiro-_saaaaann_...Shu-_channn_! Tell me what's happening, please, please, please, **_please_**!?"

...And it regrettably turned out that the three were far too busy bickering and trying to convince each other of opposite things to even answer him.

**_darksaphire: There's no need to stop updating your stories because I have not, though, sapphire-san!! I'll update faster, I promise...! Ha-ha... just kidding. :D Well, I'm glad you liked the last chapter...and the Ryu/Shu thing? Yes, I suppose it is a sweet coupling...although for some reason or another, the thought of those together brings to mind a giant pink FLUFF BALL of...something. I'm really not trying to be rude about the pairing or anything, but...maybe it's just the way my messed-up brain works. :P Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the little gag thing with them at the end there, and sankyuu for the review!_**

**_deppfan1016: Actually, I understand about the chat-rooms...I get that way, too! :D Weird, isn't it? Ah, well; I'm pretty hyper most of the time, although I have strange mood swings in which I can change from hyper to weird and then back to hyper, all in a timeframe of about 5 minutes...that's the way I am, it seems. 3 And yes, Yuki is very interesting being sweet...he's great every way possible, ne? I like Yuki as much as the next girl, though I have a big soft spot for Hiro for some reason...the big brother complex gets to me every time... Shakes her head exasperatedly A-Anyway...Ryuichi-san is adorable, isn't he? :D I hadn't realized I was being biased with him...do you think I should perhaps change the focus a bit, then...? I had wanted to show the duality between Ryuichi and Shuichi as an important element of this story, but—oh, who am I kidding? I couldn't push Ryuichi-san to the side! There're way too many Ryu fans reading this fic to hate me... :P Yes, I like the Yuki reaction to Taa-san and Shu-chan's fighting, too, now that I read over it...cuteness! XD Sankyuu for the review, Depp-san!_**

**_kanilla: Blush Your complimenting is making me all embarrassed! Stop that! Ah, well, I'm glad I've made you happy, though; and I hope you'll keep reading this fic! Another TatRyu fan is always nice to hear from, and I'm happy you're satisfied with the way I've portrayed their romance so far...I want them to get together as much as you, though, dear, so please hang in there until the end! :D And, yes, Tohma the father is an adorable image...he's sweet and manipulative most of the time, but I'm sure he'll be great as a parent! - Hitomi-chan will be born in a chapter from now, so look forward to it! Sankyuu for the review!_**

_**chibichibi-nekochan: 'Poor Hiro,' indeed. :3 Actually, I like Hiro a lot, so it does bother me that I'm putting HIM through angst, too...but I'm thinking of a happy ending for him. He would be sweet with Shu-chan, I think. That's just my personal opinion, though... Smiles sweetly and sweat drops as the ShuYuki fans start throwing Keruri evil looks Aii...kowaii desu! Cowers Ryuichi is happy whenever he's with Tatsuha, so he should be fine. I plan to keep them together, in some way, shape, or form, so TatRyu fans will have no fears or worries in this story's universe. :D Oh, and Yuki, yes, as irresistible as that man is, much to the many ShuYuki fanatics dismay, I MAY wind up having a serious HiroxShuxYuki love triangle...because I've always WANTED to try that! XD Really, folks, really; some fan fiction dreams of mine have yet to be fulfilled. And I plan to fulfill them. Don't worry, kanilla-san; Yuki will confess sooner or later; but that's all I have to say about that. Sankyuu for the review!**_

**_Goku-the-saru: You like Hagaren, Goku-san?! Ah, it is as great as everyone says it is? I'd love to know...yes, I've heard that Edo-kun is very cool. :D I like his personality already, from what I've heard of it... "DARE GA 'CHIBI,' ITTA?!" XD (Is that right? My Japanese isn't too good, sorry, and sometimes, I get my series mixed up...I half wanted to type something like, 'SARU JA NAI YO!!!' a lá Goku.) And I loved his voice after getting a chance to hear it, because Paku Romi singing RETURNABLE MEMORIES was so NICE! It's one of my favorite songs now! _**

**_I also admit to being interested in the Roy Ed interaction...some fan fiction writers seems to suggest they would have a love/hate relationship, right? I like to study couples that bicker, so I think if I get into this pairing after watching Hagaren, I'll probably enjoy working on conversational fan fiction for these two. Even if it IS technically shotacon and that's not usually my preference...Edo-kun's 15, right? He's only a year older than me, then! Roy's in his twenties, I believe XD Oh, and I accidentally found out about what happened to Nina, yes. I suppose that's the only bad thing about getting information from the internet; there's BOUND to be spoilers. Sigh But...then again, I don't know the whole story behind it, so it'll be okay, I think. :D Sankyuu for the review!_**

**_KageKitsune16: Nah, I actually would like to do a request fic of sorts involving Gravi, sure! :D If you want, tell me what kind of situation you want Ryu and Shu to be in, and I'll get to work on it ASAP! I'd like to keep my imagination busy, anyway, so it'll be a fun project! And I think your works are coming out fine, so keep at it! Did I mention that your Xanga site is AWESOME? (Your profile; I found it there) Is that HISOKA of YnM in the background there?! And Ryuichi-san's singing?! I want to find that song, now; it's so beautiful and heartfelt-sounding...I'm a Nittle grasper fan, I admit it! :P And yes, weird relationships it is, but everyone seems to like these strange relations, so I'm keeping them! (I'm sure you're happy to hear that, too, right? ), Anyway, your compliments are greatly appreciated, (you're all so sweet to this unworthy authoress!), and sankyuu for the review, Kitsune-san!_**

**_Kitty In The Box: Phwee! I'm so glad you liked that last chapter! I actually thought it was kind of bad...that's just what I think, though. :D Yes, it is rather hard for Shuichi to be happy, but you can tell he's getting a little better, isn't he? I might have a plan to make him back to the way he was...depends on what happens with the characters. I follow what they do, and change the plot to fit that. And you aren't the only one who liked the ShuTat exchange: I had about two other people comment positively, as of late. Nevertheless, I liked doing that part, too...I think if those two had lots of time to interact, they'd be like the cute big brother-little brother complex of Gravi. :D And my heart goes out to Hiro as well...I MIGHT make this story have a YukixShuxHiro love triangle, but I honestly haven't decided it yet. I'll ask next people next chapter and take a poll. See what they think, you know? Sankyuu for the review! _**

_**clari chan: PHWEE! I almost forgot you, dear! You almost reviewed the last chapter too late...I had already put up this one by the time I got your e-mail! :O Gomennnnn!! Please forgive this unworthy authoress! Ah, I'm glad you liked mature Taa-san...I like him a lot, too, and after FINALLY getting to hear him in the anime, I can safely say that I LOVE this guy's voice! XD And the little thing with Shuichi and Tatsuha was SO funny... 'I like, 'Encore,' better, because that's the one where Sakuma-san gets his clothes off.' 'Ahh...you've got great taste, Tatsuha-san!' XD XD XD HA-HA! Sorry, that's just a little thing with me...I laugh at the stupidest things. And I'm very glad you like the way all the characters have been shown so far...and I love Hiro, too, and I am thinking of having a serious HiroxShuxYuki love triangle thingie...what do you think of that? Good or bad idea? :D Either way, I hope to see you next chapter, and sankyuu for the review!**_


	11. Chapter 10: Interlude of Tatsuha

**Chapter 10: Interlude--Tatsuha**

**Standard Disclaimer Applies**

One day, I want to draw the most wonderful portrait of Sakuma Ryuichi that anyone has ever seen. And I want Sakuma-_san_ to appreciate it, too.

Of course, this would prove to be more than just a difficult task, as I soon found out shortly after mentally swearing to this; my artistic skills were close to zero back then, and most importantly, I didn't have the real life model to work with. Normally, with the sketches, I begin by assessing how I can realistically procreate and convert the 3-D being in front of me into an image on paper. That's how I work now, anyway; back then, when I had little experience in the field, things like that did not, and would not, come automatically to me. I didn't have the mental capacity then to understand what was needed to draw the perfect picture. My thoughts seemed to say that I could do it with little or no strife or mental roadblocks at all; that everything could flow naturally from brain, to fingers, to pencil, to paper.

What a load of bullshit. At least now, I've matured somewhat and understand that stuff like that doesn't happen that way. Hell, _life_ isn't even easy. You've got to fend for yourself, despite the shaky path you may have to take to get wherever it is you need to go.

Everyone has long fallen asleep, after our continual rounds of all-out karaoke. Shuichi lie on the ground beside where I sat, curled up under a small blanket that Hiro left for him shortly after falling into slumber. On the couch, Ryuichi was quietly snoring, Kumagorou tucked beneath his arm and barely holding on. I concernedly pushed the rabbit a bit further into his master's arms, and smiled quietly when Ryuichi mumbled something incoherent under his breath and reacted to my touch.

"They're real cute when they're asleep like that, _ne_?" Hiroshi came back into the living room, carrying two cans of Budweiser obviously stolen from my brother's refrigerator. "It's too bad they're couple of devils when awake."

"Ryuichi's not that bad." I retorted, shaking my head gently when Hiro offered a beer my way. "He's cute when he's sleeping. So's Shuichi."

"You don't drink, Tatsuha-_san_?" The redheaded guitarist asked me curiously.

In reply, I tossed him an amused grin. "I'm only sixteen, man. It sucks, but I'm not legally allowed do drink yet."

Hiro smirked, taking a quick sip of the dark liquid. "Well, I dunno why, but you seem like the type to bend rules, anyway, even when they're put there for a reason."

"Intuition told you that, or Shuichi?" He was a relatively nice guy; I kind of liked this Hiroshi already, because his personality seemed a bit like my own, if only a tiny bit more subdued.

Okay...maybe **a lot** more subdued, but I can't help the way _I_ am, right? Besides, happiness is always a good thing!

Hiro chuckled. "Nah, I just could tell. Some people are pretty easy to read, y'know?"

"I guess s—what th' HELL?"

Something jabbed into my back at that moment, however—I jerked in response, whirling around to find Ryuichi's pale foot sticking out off the sofa and now nudging me in the arm.

It was obvious from the sounds he was making that Hiro was trying to stifle laughter. "S-Shit, you got scared of R-Ryuichi's foot?! Ooh...demonic, isn't it?"

"Shut up." I threw a pillow that lay conveniently on the floor beside me at a silently snickering Hiro, and carefully pushed the offending, oh-so-evil foot away from me. I didn't want him to wake up, after all.

Hiro finally stopped laughing, and there was a taut silence for a moment—that is, before my own mind caught a reminder of a question that had been silently plaguing me for the past few days, and I decidedly brought the subject up.

"Hey, Hiro...Shuichi talks a whole lot about you, Aniki told me...are you, like, his second lover or what?"

There was a somewhat wistful look in the young man's eyes as he answered somewhat snappishly. "Not really. Shuichi and I are just really good friends. I mean, we've known each other since middle school, so it's not like we just met or anything like that. He's still the same hopeless idiot I remembered from back then, and he really hasn't changed much."

"There's something else, though, isn't it...?"

"Say what...?"

"N-...Nothing, man. Just forget I...forget I said anything, alright?" I quietly finished, turning away from the older teen beside me.

Something else lay in Hiro's questioning gaze as he looked at me, but I had cared not to explore it further, at the moment. Most people don't know that I'm rather skilled at gaining other peoples' true intentions and feelings before even they're willing to admit it themselves; but I like to let people believe that I'm foolish and unobservant.

It works well for a lot of reasons, really; then, they'll be pretty damn surprised when I **do** actually say something of wide-ranged intelligence, but also because I don't want people to know my real side. Not a lot of people really care what your true face is like, after all. The world's just a two-faced bitch trying to stab you in the back at any given moment. Most acquaintances aren't worth making, and most people are ones you cannot trust. Even if it seems like you're being selfish, it's better to think that everyone's not worth your time and act all high and mighty, in a way; because then, they'll have to earn your respect and attention. The ones who are too trusting get hurt physically, sometimes end up dead; the ones who trust no one are extremely pained emotionally and lonely beyond belief.

Since when did I become so morbid and philosophical, you ask? Well...let's just say that after one or two experiences on the streets, you catch wind of these things pretty fast. It's always up to you to draw your own conclusions, though.

"You know, Hiro...I really do like Ryuichi. There was just something that drew me to him, I guess...I dunno what it is yet, but I want to learn that, you know? These things really take time, but...I think I'll be willing to wait. As long as that person's waiting at the end of the road...I think it'll all be worth it at the end, you know?"

A bit startled, I saw him suspiciously look up at me. "What is this, the coming out hour of your life?"

"I'm not joking." I told him firmly, with all due honesty. "Listen, man, if you ever like someone, don't give up on them just 'cause of society's rules and crap like that. Something tells me that you've got someone you really care about, and I know from experience that when something like that happens...you know that it's right, even if everyone else thinks you're crazy or weird and shit. Maybe...maybe everyone else is the weird ones, y'know? Maybe we're doin' something RIGHT, following our instincts and not listening to what someone else dictates..."

A pregnant silence followed, but I could tell from the thoughtful look Hiro held that he was considering my words.

"You know...I think I understand what you mean, at least a little." Hiro glanced up at me, dark eyes smiling, although his face was purely grave and solemn. "Shuichi means a whole lot to me...and just because he belongs to someone else, or we're best friends and stuff isn't going to change the way I feel about him. Something in my heart draws me to him...and every time I look at him, there's something just _there_, you know? I mean...I think that feeling's love, but...I'll wait a while to know for sure. Until we're both sure." He professed softly, as he added the last sentence to his confession.

**Bingo!** I had gotten him to confess his feelings, as expected.

Grinning slightly, I nodded to Hiro. "I gotcha, man."

My stare switched to a sleeping Ryuichi, who was now fully asleep. Normally lively blue orbs were shut beneath tired eyelids, and up close, you could see the evidence of how exhausted fame had made him. But there was something about those delicate, curving fingers of his, curled against his little pink bunny, and the lightly parted lips curved into a tiny, dreamy smile that allured me; that somehow made me forget everything else around me. Whatever this was...whatever one could call this feeling...I never wanted it to end.

I'm sure that my brother, the-oh-so-romantic, bestselling author that he is, could probably describe it better than I could ever attempt to. But that side thought's really beside the point of the matter.

And then, a strike of inspiration hit me. My hands started clambering for my suitcase, and I began tugging at the finicky zipper pull anxiously. Dammit...needed my sketchbook fast, before the idea fades...

"What the hell are you doing?" Hiro questioned incredulously, from behind the beer can's rim.

I grinned as my index finger touched the familiar fabric of my sketchbook, and I pulled it out in a hurry. "...Sorry, man. Inspiration took its hold on me. In the form of a pair of cute little guys...named Shindou Shuichi and Sakuma Ryuichi."

Hiro was looking at me strange, but I couldn't have cared less. Right now, I had work to do.

* * *

**_clari chan: He was getting pretty scared by Hiro's cruel tone with Yuki, and that's why he wasn't exactly mad, per se. Internally, yes, he was rather upset; but his emotions still weren't working too well, so that could have had something to do with that. :D I'm glad you liked the chapter, though, clari-san, and I hope you enjoyed this chapter, too! Sankyuu for the review!_**

**_deppfan1016: Hai, being different is fun, ne? :3 I'm glad someone can agree with me about that! Phwee! ) Glad you enjoyed the Yuki and Hiro confrontation; and by the way, I DID look back in the tankouban where they speak with one another about that, just so I'd get the same mood of the scene across in this fic. I'm just happy I succeeded! –Smile—Thank you for complimenting on that. As for Ryuichi, there was another person who didn't want Ryuichi to fall out of the focus...so he won't be out of it, don't fret, dear! :D Yes, Ryu and Shu makes great friends, and a RyuShu fan even complimented me on how I portrayed them, too! :D I'm really embarrassed to be getting all this praise; it makes me feel so warm and fuzzy inside! Phwee. :3 Well, if you like this story, then I'll keep at it! Sankyuu for the review, depp-san!_**

_**kanilla: Phwee! I'm satisfied if you're satisfied with their romance, then. :3 No, really; I want my readers to enjoy the interactions as much as I enjoy writing of them, so I'm glad my mission has been accomplished. As for Tohma's baby, she'll come in later chapters...I think I mentioned this in one of my other reviews, didn't I? –Looks around with swirly eyes—Ahh...unfortunately, this story is getting far too many reviews for me to take in, so I'm sorry if I'm repeating myself to anyone...! Yes, Ryu-chan is always such an innocent. But we love him that way, ne? –Hugs the entire Gravi cast—These characters are so cool...! Anyway, I'm glad you like the idea of a HiroxShuxYuki triangle...repeat the same support again next review so I can count your vote for the review-based poll! (Read below the review replies for more information on that, please. :D) Yes, Nittle Grasper r00x my sox. And I never thought I'd say it that way, too. I personally don't like typing like that, (correct grammar and spelling for me, please, even if my spelling SUCKS VERY BADLY), but I thought I would to show my raw support for the group. So, NYAH. :P (Just kidding. :3) And your comments are making me blush; stop, please! –Blushy—You shouldn't try to use so many adjectives, anyway; I believe you even when you merely state that you like my story. I hope to see you next chapter, kanilla-san, and sankyuu for the review!**_

**_Silver on the Tree: Phwee...that is creepy. –Shivers- Weird phenomena happen when we least expect them, ne? Yes, Hiro was being biting, but who wouldn't want to be protective of their best friend who had been raped? I can't fully understand his rage, because I have not been in a situation like that, but we can imagine the scene and understand his reasons for it, right? I'm glad you liked what he said, though; I put A LOT of work into that one snippet of dialogue, and it seemed to work out just fine. Many other reviewers commented on it, too. :D Yes, the ShuRyu thing was added for humor purposes, and I'm glad you got a kick out of it. I always like making my readers happy. Oh, and thanks for reviewing Jouryoku Kafe; yes, angsty!Hakkai is neat, but I'm hoping for a happy ending for him, anyway. Poor guy went through so much as it is... --Has just read Saiyuki manga tankouban 4 and is thoroughly tossed a curve ball—Sniffy...I have to make his parts of the story good! :D And, and since you're reading this story, what would you think of a SanzouxHakkaixGojyo triangle later on in the story? I'm going to ask my other reviewers next chapter, but I thought that since you're reviewing this fic, I'd ask you in advance. Anyway, thanks for the compliments given, and sankyuu for the review!_**

_**chibichibi-nekochan: Ha-ha! Yes, the geometry works so interestingly, doesn't it? :) Ah, and thank you for the compliments. –Looks at the ground shyly like she always does when admired- I tried very hard to make this chapter good, and it's always nice to know my efforts were not in vain! Well, look forward to Yuki going 'psycho,' on Tachi next chapter; I'm afraid I didn't have the time to make a really good chapter now, but I PROMISE that I will next time! Sankyuu for the review!**_

_**Kitty in the Box: --Pets Kitty-san on the head—There, there, dear...I'm sorry you didn't understand, but I was only trying to break the angst-y air...I suppose that didn't work out too well. :( Sorry...I tried to make you happy. Nevertheless, I've edited that chapter, so I hope it makes more sense...it seems that cut off part of what I wanted to say by accident, and by me not paying attention to what I was doing. –Gives Kitty-san a Ryuichi plushie—I hope this, as well as the actual chapter, serves as a consolation prize to the main dish, and I hope you'll be satisfied next chapter...whenever I can get to it. I'll try to get it up ASAP, though! –Determined air about her—Sankyuu for the review!**_

**_KageKitsune16: Happy to hear all that. Your kindness and compliments are greatly appreciated. –Smiles- Oh, he did that in the OVA?! I never even saw it yet, so I wouldn't know! What a coincidence, ne? Hehe. I like Hiro's comment, too...I wanted that comment to stick out, but everyone was mostly focusing on the actual humor of Ryuichi and Shuichi ending up in such a compromising situation. :D But I'm glad that YOU noticed it, of course, so kudos to you for that! You get a Hiro plushie. –Gives you the plushie and squeaks happily—It's quite wonderful that you spent so much time on your Xanga, though I could almost tell by the way it was designed. Hard work really does show, sometimes, ne? :D And even if you don't know who was on your background image, I still love it anyway. –Huggles Hisoka— I highly suggest Yami No Matsuei, (Descendents of Darkness, as it is titled here), for you, though; if you don't mind a little supernatural action and some blood with your yaoi and shonen-ai, then you might like it. But the shonen-ai is really neat in that series. Highly recommended, again. Sankyuu for the review!_**

_**goku-the-saru: I KNOW! I get Adult Swim, and I told my friend about it being on there, (she also likes anime), so she was pretty happy about titles like that coming on Cartoon Network, too. :D Her penname here on is Ochako107; I highly recommend her stories, which are only Rurouni Kenshin at the moment, but she's working hard on some really cute fics. Highly recommended. :) YAKI-SARU! yes, gotta love Goku; I love the entire Sanzou-ikkou, really; though I'm quite biased when it comes to two members, especially: Bakasaru, (LOL!), and the ever-smiling monocle youkai, Hakkai-san. Yare yare desu ne. Phweeeee... Such a sweet biseinen with an angst-y past. How clichéd, yet wonderful. I admire his personality, though; for whom else can keep peace amongst an abusive monk, a lecherous kappa, and a gluttonous monkey? XD I also think he's adorable with Gojyo-san. They have excellent chemistry. Um...that is, if you understand what I mean. –Sweat drops and blushes while she tries to hide it—I'm such a strange, shonen-ai shipper  
...Umm...In any case, your comment is highly appreciated, and sankyuu for the review!**_

**_Ochako107: JAKUKIE-SAN! Lots of hugs, sweetheart... -Glomps- Your comments are always well-appreciated, and STOP BEING SO ADORABLY POLITE ALL THE TIME! It's gonna turn you into another Hakkai without the dark past! XD Yes, Shuichi's devotion is so strong...I admire him for that, you know? And I want he and Yuki to have a happy ending...because I'm a hopeless romantic like that, and also because I love their chemistry. Reminds me a little of Sanzou and Goku, only they're a little bit more...abusive? Maternal? Not exactly shotacon but considered that to some?? Okay... I'll stop talking; I'm going SO much on a tangent... -Sweat drops and grins-  
_**_**--Blushes—Oh, thanks for saying you liked my characters, Jakukie-san...! I love your characters more, though; I always think that there's something wrong with the way my portrayals of the characters are. –Smiles- But Hiro and Yuki's conversation, as I've said in about three other reviews, (Not to be rude or anything; but there were SERIOUSLY three other reviewers who liked the same thing. –Sweat drop- I guess I did a good job?), was something I worked VERY hard on, so I'm very, VERY happy you all liked it. I was planning out that conversation subconsciously for about THREE DAYS! That's how hard I try to make everything work! –Determined air- Well, I'll keep at it, so YOU have to work hard on your Ruroken fic; it's absolutely WONDERFUL so far, Jakukie-san! You're a great authoress, too! Hugs, and sankyuu for the review!**_

**I'm so sorry, everyone... I had planned to update last weekend, and it didn't work out that way because of time issues...GOMEN NASAI! -–Bashes head against the keyboard and gets back up, slowly, with a gigantic bump on her head--**

**_Itai yo_...never doing that again. Waahh...that HURTS, people, it does... XX --'X' eyes--  
****  
IMPORTANT NOTE! I was planning on this chapter being the Yuki and Tachi confrontation, but I'm going on a trip starting tomorrow, and I will not be able to afford a long chappie with good emotional scenes 'till next weekend. By the time you all read this, probably, too, I will be long gone for a few days. Sorry! Although there will be absolutely NO updates to any of my stories, (including _Jouryoku Kafe_, my other ongoing multi-parter, which I politely suggest for any of my readers who enjoy Saiyuki; I hope you will like it, even though I don't think it's all that great so far. –Authoress kicks herself for the shameless self-plug— Ouchie!), I still hope everyone will stay faithful to this story and continue to enjoy it as it is, please. --Smiles--**

**Oh, and this is also VERY, VERY important, everyone; so important that I'm taking up the bottom authoress's notes space, which I don't usually do, as you know, for all these questions, comments, and facts. Okay, here's my poll for this story that I'd like you ALL to participate in if you review _Paradise_: **

**Would you like to have a HiroxShuxYuki love triangle present in this story?? I am considering it quite seriously now, as we get into the later chapters of this fic, but I want YOUR view on this. Whether it deals with your personal preferences or whatnot, say what you think! I want to know what YOU guys want; because it's almost useless to write a story without an audience to write FOR, wouldn't you agree? Or perhaps that's just my odd sense of judgment and ideals worked in here... XD**

**Lots of hugs for going over the 80 review mark, everyone, and until next chapter...  
-Smiles- ...See you then, everyone!**


	12. Chapter 12: Frozen Flower

**Chapter 12: Frozen Flower**

**Standard Disclaimer Applies**

Dim street lights glimmered under a pale moon, its waxen sheen covering the silent pavement. No human movement could be detected; the cool breezes signaling the subtle transition from summer to autumn might have had something to do with this, but one cannot be absolutely certain of such.

He recognized the figure strolling casually out of the building without much effort. Celebrities may try to disguise themselves with dark glasses and cavalier clothing, but their aura remains the same. He had gone exactly where Hiroshi led him to, and found his target with no problems.

Now, the confrontation began.

Being rammed against the nearby wall wasn't exactly Tachi's idea of an introduction, but it seemed to be this blonde stranger's way of greeting in any case. Murderous intent lay in angled amber eyes; involuntarily, the dark-haired vocalist shivered.

"W-Who the hell are you?! Get **off** me!" With a violent shove, Tachi managed to get the man off of him. "Don't you realize who you're messing with?"

"Aizawa Tachi, right?" The obvious derision and scorn in the taller male's voice could be heard. "And I'd have to say it's _you_ who has no idea who you're dealing with. It's a shame you're so slow. And here I was, hoping I wouldn't have to spell it all out for you."

The cryptic response only angered Tachi further, and added to the obvious insult made before, apparently, he was beyond furious. "What the fuck is **THAT** supposed to mean?! And who are you, anyway?!"

Tachi didn't even see the fist coming at him until the moment it got to his face. Staggering backwards, he leaned on the adjoining wall for support, wiping the trickle of blood seeping past his lips. "Damn you..."

"So...how was it, Aizawa? Was Shindou good enough for your liking? I'd bet any amount of money that you tricked him into doing it, right?"

The fear that had been threatening to take hold of his features the entire conversation finally escaped. "W-What are you talking about...?"

And then, Eiri finally snapped, clearly fed up with his interviewee dodging the subject. "DON'T mess with me. Someone overheard you talking about how you held him down, took pictures, and did who-knows-_what_ to the kid. He's so fucking scared over what you did that he barely even **SMILES**. You probably didn't think it would mess him up so much, now DID you? He's hurting inside because you raped him, and for the rest of his life, he's not going to forgive or forget you for it! And," -The glittering orbs already glaring with irreconcilable emotions changed into flaming rage- "I won't forgive you for it, either."

"L-Listen to me!" Tachi's voice reached an already frightened pitch, almost likened to a squeaking mouse begging for mercy. "I didn't fucking DO the actual stuff! The guys who did it were just some thugs I hired for the night! P-Please, don't kill me!"

"So you're saying it _was_ you, are you not?"

Caught in his own words, Tachi managed a gasping breath. "N-No, that's not-!"

Eiri grabbed the other male by the collar, menacingly growling out his final warning. "Look, you can either give me the film for the pictures you took, or I'll have to painfully kill you. -**Your-** -**fucking-** -**choice.-**"

The mouth about ready to spit out yet another alibi collapsed downward, and some incoherent babble emerged. "B-But I was--you don't understand that it--!"

Eiri slammed the man into the wall again, and the singer cried out when the back of his head felt exploding pain. "I TOLD you not to goddamn MESS with my head!"

"Yeah, well, quiet messing with MINE!" Tachi retorted, finally shoving his hands into his pant pockets. A small container was hastily pulled out. "H-Here, take the damn thing, already...just don't hurt me!"

The hardened visage faded, and as Eiri took the film roll from the lead singer's hand, he appeared just as tired as Tachi did. "...I wouldn't have had to do any of this if it hadn't been for your idiocy. Just remember that."

As the dark clothed one departed into the night, somewhere outside his barely conscious mind, Tachi's knees came buckling out from under him.

* * *

"So, how'd it go?" Tatsuha lifted his head up from his work, speaking gently to the elder Usuegi that had just entered the suite. "He gave you the stuff, right?"

Eiri made a half-grunt of affirmation; but this clearly wasn't enough for the young one. "C'mon, _Aniki_! Aren't you GLAD this is all out of the way? I mean, you found out what was up with Shuichi, didn't you?"

"Shut **up**." Eiri ground out in a steely tone of voice. "Tachi wasn't actually the guy who didn't anyway, though I'd bet you any amount of yen that he was the one with the idea for it. The guys who raped Shuichi were a couple of thugs he hired for the night."

"W-Whoa, wait a second, Bro..." Tatsuha was gaping. "He was RAPED?! You never told me that! What the hell happened?!"

Shuichi snorted in his sleep, though it was more like an addition to his snoring than anything, and shuddered in the couch. Once the movement ceased, wary silence converted back into distress.

"Look," Eiri began with a heaving sigh, "Your guess is as good as mine as to what went on there. Shuichi hasn't told me a goddamn thing since the incident, and no one else actually saw or heard what happened. But he's been so...depressed for three days that it's really starting to piss me off..."

"You're really worried about him, aren't you...?" Tatsuha's wide eyes softened upon hearing the sound of defeat in his sibling's voice. "And are you sure that...there's really nothing else we can do...?"

The same, catlike honey orbs that were once cold shuddered with a completely unfathomable ambiance for him; love and concern.

"Your guess is as good as mine."

Padding footsteps came over to the two talking brothers, as well as a timid, innocent voice that was far too familiar and characteristic to not be recognized.

"Tatsuha-_san_...Yuki-_san_...does that mean that Shu-_chan_ won't go back to the way he used to be? Never, _ever_, na no da...?"

Heartbreaking it was, really, to hear a full-grown man with the soul of a child asking such an honest, childlike question. Not only that, but Ryuichi was one of Shuichi's closest friends who truthfully wanted the singer back to his old self. For a moment, it seemed there was a shared discarnate feeling about these three. All were concerned for Shuichi; but in three completely different senses. _And,_ Tatsuha thought to himself, glancing at the young guitarist who had had fallen asleep against the very sofa Shuichi occupied, _There would be one other person to worry for Shuichi with us, if he was awake right now._

"Ryuichi, don't worry about anything." The dark-haired teen replied in assurance, hesitantly motioning to pat his idol's shoulder. Ryuichi did not make a motion to escape from the touch, so he continued it. "All of us will make sure Shuichi gets back to the way he was...I promise."

There was a pregnant calm, however, before Ryuichi suddenly broke into tears. In an attempt to quiet his own crying, the smallest adult covered his mouth, his expression taking one of both astonishment and sorrow. Even as Tatsuha meekly questioned the vocalist's state of mind, Ryuichi went on talking about something completely unrelated behind his sobs.

"I-I'm so sorry...i-it's just that...I feel so horrible, no da...Shu-_chan_ is really sad, and we've been trying to make him better...but nothing's working, Tatsuha-_san_; Yuki-_san_! A-And I really hate seeing people sad...'specially my friends and my family...even though it's silly t-to s-say that, 'cause you guys aren't **really** my family...b-but Ryuichi thinks of everybody as his family...and Kumagorou agrees with me, too...!"

All of the doubts, insecurities, and pain build up in his heart were suddenly dispersed, coming forth as welling tears and incomprehensive babble. He could not, would not, be consoled, for there was already too little assistance that he had been given in the years before. Lovingly, and almost exhaustedly, Tatsuha pulled the petite young man into his arms. And though the teen was much younger than Ryuichi, the olive-haired one nuzzled against his comforter's shoulder, calming down somewhat in his embrace.

"Ryuichi...it's all gonna be okay. We'll get him through this, somehow. No matter what it takes...Shuichi'll go back to the way he was. And we'll be there to help him every step of the way, right?"

Nodding against Tatsuha's chest, Ryuichi looked up and sniffled. "_S-Sankyuu,_ Tatsuha-_san_...you're right...I shouldn't be crying and not helping, no da! Tomorrow, we'll work on a way to get Shu-chan happy again, no da! Umm...but can Kumagorou help us?" Ryuichi motioned to the little pink bunny entrusted into Tatsuha's hands. "You probably don't have to ask him; he's Shu-_chan_'s friend, too, so it'll be no problem."

Tatsuha answered with a brilliant smile, and handed the stuffed animal back to its owner. "Sure thing. Whoever wants to help us can help us. After all, the more the merrier, I always say!"

"Yeah!"

This time it was Hiro and Shuichi who shifted in their spots at the noise, though only Hiroshi was the one to get up and speak sleepily on behalf of both of them.

"Oi! Keep it down here; Shuichi and I wanna sleep...you guys can party all night long, but take the celebration outside..."

And to that end, the redhead plopped back down on the sofa, promptly falling asleep again.

The sound of Eiri's forehead making contact with his oncoming hand covered the abruptly silent atmosphere. "God...idiots really do attract idiots as friends, don't they?"

A teasing inflection could be heard in Tatsuha's voice as he spoke up, wrapping his arm around a considerably cheered Ryuichi. "Maybe...I think Hiroshi-_san_ may have just had a little too much to drink before, _ne_, _Aniki_?"

Ryuichi sniffed Tatsuha's neck, making a strange noise of naivety and surprise. "Meep! Tatsuha-_san_, you smell nice, na no da."

"Say what?!" Tatsuha rather inarticulately, turning bright red.

For the second time that day, Yuki Eiri sighed. "Dumbass."

* * *

**lee:_ Your suggestion is highly appreciated, Lee-san. And I'm not being sarcastic at all, really! Constructive criticism is always good for a person, right? Yes, I will try in later chapters to not have so much, 'personal stuff,' and I will work my very hardest to do just that...to the best of my abilities. I realized now that some of the last parts of the previous chapter were not necessary; however, if you are referring to the sections about my trip—which I put there for a VERY important reason; my updates and replies to all my reviewers are usually quite speedy, so I wanted to let them know the reason why it wouldn't be—or if you are referring to the other important note about the question regarding a HiroxShuxYuki love triangle, I hope you understand that those are more crucial to the story than what I actually agree with you about what is not important. I hope that was a coherent enough reply for my actions for you, and I hope that you will read the chapters to come...if you think my story is still okay, that is. I understand if you don't feel that way, because everyone's entitled to their own opinion. Thank you for the comment, though._**

**Goku-the-saru_: -Falls over hysterically laughing over the, 'past life lover,' comment- AHAHAHA! Holy crap, that was FUNNY! And true! XD Tenpou and Kenren are so cute, too, though I've honestly only seen Gaiden in the few episodes the anime provided us with. I'd like to read the Gaiden manga soon, though; that would be neat, because then I'd be able to fic them better. –Holds up a wine glass filled with milk, since Keruri is too young to drink alcohol- Here's to TokyoPop, who's doing a pretty good job on making me love the Saiyuki manga, hoping they'll keep translating soon! (I can't say I liked TokyoPop's Gravitation translation all that much; but hey! The past is the past...-shrugs-) As for your other question regarding those anime, yes, I've heard of them; and not only that, but I've read some One Piece in past issues of Shonen Jump US, (I've started getting lazy in reading them, lately), and I manga volumes 1, 3, and 5 of Tokyo Mew Mew, (which is SUCH a cute shoujou title. I really like it now. Ichigo-chan's so sweet, and Lettuce is just adorable. She reminds me of myself...), so I've been exposed to how interestingly cool they are. :D I can't WAIT to check out both anime, even if they are dubbed! Sankyuu for the review!_**

**Deppfan1016:_ Oh, really?! –Blush- Wow, I didn't know I was suddenly a mind reader! And while I'm glad you liked his introspective on life, I must admit that I don't think that way. I'm more of a pure person—too trusting and naïve, even—because I always think there is good in every person. Call me crazy, but that's my ideal of life. Tatsuha-san's my exact opposite when it comes to that. But he and I have very similar birthdays! His is one day from mine! –Squeak!- I was very happy when I realized that. And yes, now you have something other than loving Ryu-chan to compare yourself to him with. :D Though a lot of people love Ryuichi, so doesn't that mean that all those people can identify with him? Ah, well. My trip was fine, thank you very much. Visiting family and going shopping is rather physically draining sometimes, but it's always fun!_**

_**Oh, and as for the love triangle; don't fret, dearie! I haven't decided yet whether it will be, because I still want to ask the rest of my reviewers to state their opinion on it. While I DO understand how you feel, (that was why I hesitated to do it in the first place, actually; so you read my mind), it's up to my reviewers and readers to decide. I won't call the shots, because I feel that's unfair, Your vote for, 'no,' will be remembered, however, and tallied into the actual score of things. :) Sankyuu for the review, depp-san!**_

**kanilla: _ANOTHER love triangle, 'yes,' person? Well, that's one more to add to the list...the actual effects of it, however, probably won't start until a few chapters from now; but know so far that YES to HiroxShuxYuki is ahead of NO. :D I'm sure that should make you quite happy. Thank you for the compliment about my grammar, kanilla-san! –Smiles- I try very hard to let people know that I'm always improving and making my writing the best I can, but I'm glad to see that's enough for somebody! As for where I originate, I was born up north in New Jersey, though my father's side of the family originates from New York, and my mother's from Hong Kong. So that makes me half-Asian, and half-American. I also have some Polish on my Dad's side, and some Caribbean on my Mom's side of the family, so I'm a bit of those, too. Hai, Tatsuha-san is cute when he's an artist, and even when he isn't, he's sweet. I know that this isn't the first time an artist motif has been used for him in fics, (read Shining Acrylic and you'll probably see what I mean), but I had the idea long before that authoress wrote that story, really. So my Taa-san is totally original. His personality, yes, is older than his age, but that's the other part of my motif for him in this story: a young teen that is psychologically much more mature than he lets others perceive him to be. Enigmas are fun, aren't they? Sankyuu for the compliments, kanilla-san, and I hope to see you next chapter!_**

**darksaphire: _Don't worry; I would never blame anyone for not having the time to review fics! I have that problem personally because of school, so I can totally sympathize. –Kicks her schoolbooks- EBIL. XP Ah, and thank you for the compliment on Tatsuha's insight. I wanted people to like his thoughts on life, because they're quite deep, I think. It also ties in with the themes of the story, though, if you ever stop and think about it: "_The ones who are too trusting get hurt physically, sometimes end up dead; the ones who trust no one are extremely pained emotionally and lonely beyond belief."_ That's what happen to poor, trusting Shuichi, remember? But my little angst kitten's life should get better soon. Or it could turn horribly worse. I'm really not sure yet. Depends on what the plot bunnies order me to do. And people like Yuki, who are cold and wish to have no ties with anyone, internally feel that way, too. I tried for a bit of inadvertent symbolism there, though I'm not sure if anyone noticed it. Yes, Hiro DID slip up rather annoyingly, but I think that it's only human to make a mistake. And Hiro is one of the most humane humans I know. (Does that make ANY sense?? XD) You can have the 100th review only if you can get it, saphire-san; I'm afraid there will be others trying to get the credit all for themselves. So, good luck with that, and sankyuu for the review!_**

**Kitty in the Box: _Phwee? You liked this chapter? :D I'm glad, then! You didn't seem very happy with me last time, so if at least one reviewer is enjoying this, then my job is done. –Smile- Yes, I personally believe that Hiro and Tatsuha could be kindred spirits; they both love two people who do not seem to care for them in that way. Or do they...? –Mwahahaha...- Oh, speaking of, what do you think of a HiroxShuxYuki triangle? Good idea? Bad idea? The worst thing in the universe?? I'd like to know so this story can have that extra, side conflict. Because side-stories rock. :D Sankyuu for the compliment, enjoy the plushie, and I hope to see you next chapter!_**

**Dntfckwifme: _Awww...you're sick, dear? Here, have some tea and a Shuichi plushie to make you feel better. –Hands you the items charitably- I was sick, too, a good week ago, but it went away. It was a sinus infection, which SUCKS because of the medicine they make you take! Not to mention the virus was heck to go through, as well. Feel better soon, sweetheart! :D_**

_**As for the Yuki and Shuichi thing, I completely understand. You're the only other person who's opposed to it so far besides another reviewer, so I'll keep both your opinions in mind for the final vote count! I hope this Yuki and Tachi confrontation was good to you, and sankyuu for the review! Please stick around for the other chapters if you feel inclined to do so!**_

**KageKitsune16: _Oh, don't cry, Kitsune-san! –'Phwee-s,' and holds out a box of tissues- I hadn't realized this chapter would be a tearjerker, but, um...glad you liked it. Even if it DID seem to make you a bit more emotional...by the way, your RyuxShuxYuki fic will be up soon, so please wait just a bit longer on that! :D Hope this chapter was to your liking, and sankyuu for the review!_**

**clari chan: _Clari-san, you're back to review? Coolies! :D Hai, Tatsuha-san no sugoi! I pretty much just LOVED him after hearing his voice and attitude in the anime, so now he's one of my top favorites in Gravi. I still lurv Hiro a bit more, though. –Hugs Hiroshi plush- Phwee. I hope you liked this chapter, and sankyuu for the review!_**

**Everyone, thanks to ALL of my reviewers for reaching past the ninety review mark! I'm going to give a SPECIAL surprise to the person who writes the 100th review, so please look forward to that as well! And to all the readers of this fic, you know what I'm going to say. _Everyone_'s assistance in giving me inspiration to continue this story is always appreciated. I really, REALLY mean it, so...SANKYUU NA NO DA! :D**

**And since I'm still not totally sure about what to do, I ask everyone again: _should_ there be a HiroxShuxYuki love triangle later on in this story? I'm sorry if this is becoming terribly repetitive and annoying, but I'd really like YOU guys to decide what will become of these three. I think it would be unfair if I decided, so now I'm letting my readers decide. The votes so far: 'YES' Love triangle: 3 votes; 'NO' love triangle: 2 votes. 'YES,' is ahead, but don't let that stop you guys who disagree from letting me know! Every vote WILL be taken into consideration when the time comes! **

**The title of this chapter came from the D-N Angel instrumental theme, named, obviously, 'Frozen Flower.' It's a beautiful piano and violin sonata, and I highly recommend it for anyone who can get a chance to hear it. It sets the mood for most of the final part of the chapter rather well, especially the paragraphs where Ryuichi breaks down crying.**

**Until the next installment of _Paradise_, everyone...I hope to see you soon! –Waves-**


	13. Chapter 13: Final Distance

**Chapter 13: Final Distance**

_**I never thought I'd say this, but…it's coming toward the time to put this story to rest.**_

**_That's right: this will the second-to-last chapter in this story. I realized what a clichéd, unoriginal idea this is; and have decided to begin the path to the (unfortunately, a rather hastily-done) ending of this fic. Not only that, but I have so many other fan fiction ideas I'd like to pursue. And this fic has been in suspension for FAR too long for me to NOT finish it off with some kind of fanfare._**

_**But for people who still like this story, (after that LONG, unexpected hiatus, which I must insanely, honestly, whole-heartedly apologize for; and I really AM sorry!!), never fear. A sequel will be put up after this story ends—unnamed as of late—focusing mainly on what Yuki and Shuichi's relationship will be like after Shuichi has been assaulted. It will also hone in on many, MANY subplots, (which are most fun for me, because I love experimenting with characters like this), involving—but not limited to—Tatsuha, Ryuichi, Tohma, Mika, and Hiro. And that's just the tip of the iceberg, folks. **_

**_Many, MANY thanks to all who have reviewed this story so far—deppfan1016, your review was the 100th, so please send in your request for a fic of your choice soon!—and as for all the others who have been patient with me. I know I'm such a bad authoress, so…I should beg for forgiveness right about now. –Begs and grovels- I'M SORRY, EVERYONE! PLEASE FORGIVE THIS UNWORTHY AUTHORESS, NYAA! _**

_**Okay, I'm done blabbering. Enjoy.  
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**_

I wanna be with you now

_Itsu no hi ka_ distance _mo_

_Dakishimerareru you ni nareru yo_

We can start sooner

_Yappari _I wanna be with you…

I wanna be with you now

Someday even this distance,

We'll be able to embrace

We can start sooner,

After all, I wanna be with you…

**--From Utada Hikaru's, "_Final Distance_." **

It wouldn't have been so shocking to wake up in silence and solitude, and, perhaps, not as disconcerting; but the first sensation Shuichi could be consciously aware of upon waking up that morning was distant conversation. Rather loud, cheerful conversation, too. While one might call it far too pleasant for a morning liker this, the slender male found the sounds comforting—satisfying, even. It was just fine to pretend things had gone back to normal, however misleading such sentiments may be.

Softly, he trotted past the living area into a spare bedroom; one that, usually, Yuki would keep for boxes of junk and could be deemed the unofficial, "Miscellaneous Closet." Chattering and almost yelling, Shuichi watched from the partially opened doorway as Hiro and Tatsuha were carrying parcel after parcel of items from one side of the room to the other, obediently as though being directed. Their pacing would have made Shuichi's throbbing head ache even more—a morning hangover as the result of last night's drinking escapades with Ryuichi, Tatsuha, and Hiroshi—had he not decided to turn away and kneeling beside the door, head leaning against the wood.

_Their happiness and laughter is almost patronizing…it almost seems as though if I walked in there, I wouldn't be able to fit in. Not anymore, anyway…_

He heard Ryuichi squeal in delight, and had to suppress a sardonic grin, despite the fondness thinking of the older singer created.

_It's not as though anyone would want me…no one wants, 'damaged goods…' None of them need me to be happy…_

"Brat, your sitting out in the middle of the hallway, you know. At least move over a little bit so I can get through."

Startled by the sudden baritone growl spilt from Yuki's lips, Shuichi immediately rose, looking quite abashed. "O-Okay…sorry about that, Yuki…"

The blonde internally berated himself for the hostile remark from before, hating his lover's hands, which slowly tugged at long pants as if humiliated by his very presence; hated those downcast violet-blue spheres, once so alive and vibrant though now looking so lost and frightened; hated those tiny, perfect lips curled into a disappointed, disheartened frown, and not the smile that so frequently graced round cheeks. Hating that expression. Hating his actions. Even hating the sorry excuse of a person Tachi had transformed him into.

But never once hating Shuichi, because even the cold Yuki Eiri could not—**would** not—bring himself to do that.

"Look, you…" _Sometimes, this kid's gonna be the end of me, I swear…_ "…I didn't mean it like that, okay? Just go and see your friends before I kick them out. I'm only letting those noisy bastards stay because you hadn't woken up yet…and I would've if you were feeling better. So…you'd better be grateful, you hear?"

The tiniest hint of a real smile twitched the end of the boy's mouth, dismissing any further doubts on Yuki's part that the boy would not recover. "_Arigatou_, Yuki. _Hontou ni." _

And by the time Shuichi had walked away, heading for the, "Miscellaneous Closet," Yuki was smiling, too; though rather begrudgingly. "_Kuso gaki…as long as your happy, I am. If you couldn't figure that much out, then you really are a moron."_

Upon hearing the hinges of the creaking door open, Hiro immediately whirled around to face a somewhat cheerful Shuichi. "Hey, Shu! You're just in time; Prince Ryuichi's making us play his loyal servants, so maybe you can convince him to let us go for the moment…"

"Tell me about it, Hiro!" Tatsuha affirmed. "I've been SOOOO hungry for the past hour! Ryuichi! Can't we just take off for one minute?!"

"Not yet!" The olive-haired adult argued back. "Kumagorou and I wanna play some more…! 'Sides, we haven't even built the castle yet!"

Hiro slumped over, appearing quite overcome. "_Well, we would work faster if you were feeding us, Ryuichi…_"

Despite the fact that he _did_ feel a bit sympathetic to the working pair, Shuichi giggled at the mere sight of one still-disgruntled Hiro, one still-slaving Tatsuha, and one still-cheerful Ryuichi. What a trio they were, hovering about the cardboard, shuffling back and forth with Ryuichi's spontaneous directing, yelling again and again for his, 'servants,' to get to work. If the sight from before hadn't cheered Shuichi up even more than his small-talk with Yuki had, then now would have been the perfect scenery of jovialness that worked perfectly, duly, and just as imagined.

The emotion felt was so foreign and wonderful, in fact, that Shuichi's eyes suddenly welled up with tears; real, honest tears, bittersweet and painfully stinging. Watery droplets, luminescent under bright fluorescent lighting from above; those tears held inside for three days since the incident; symbolizing every emotion felt in that time. Recurring pain; unexplainable relief; a recognizable weakness, tugging at his heartstrings and causing the sobs to escape, unbidden.

_What else am I supposed to do?_ Shuichi thought exhaustedly. _Everything's happened so fast, yet the people I took for granted before had still stood by me, never giving up…_

_How could I have been so…so **selfish** to not realize it before? Ryuichi ordering everyone around just now…Hiro, who seemed just as amused as he did annoyed_… _Tatsuha trying to help Ryuichi so honestly..._

_It's as though their actions made all the troubles inside of me float far away; distantly traveling to some other place and time. Back in time, actually…yes, back when a certain pink-haired singer didn't know anything about kindness or gentleness; nor about devotion, honesty, brotherhood, or even the real concept of friendship. Everyone's done that for me…and I owe so much to them that I…_

This mystifying, intense show of feelings naturally frightened everyone in the room, and they all began crowding around him worriedly.

"Shu-_chan_?!" Ryuichi asked animatedly, running to his abruptly crying friend. "Shu-_chan_, don't cry! You get hungry when you cry, no da…!" He turned to both of the other startled teens, blue gaze turning darkly severe. "Tatsuha-_kun_, would you mind getting some tissues? Shuichi could really use them."

Tentatively glancing from the apparently disconsolate Shuichi, to an equally awkward Hiroshi, Tatsuha sprinted out of the Closet, heading for the living area.

"Just wait there, then! I'll get the tissues in a sec!"

Ryuichi nodded appreciatively, to no one, really, while wrapping his arms around his trembling companion. "Shh…it's alright, Shu-_chan_...everything's okay now. What're you crying for?"

"Y-You're all such great friends to me…" Shuichi hiccupped, wiping the still-flowing tears with the back of his palm. "It's relieving…I just realized how lucky and fortunate I am to have so many great people around me…so…so…"

He might have broken into another fit of sadness, if Tatsuha had not just then come back with a box of tissues in hand. Grinning self-consciously, the dark-haired male held it out to the wide-eyed Shuichi.

"Here. Ryuichi said you might need it, so here it is! Not sure if it'll help much, but…"

Blowing noisily into the accepted cloth, Shuichi made do with the tiniest, frailest, smile, though it was surely his trademark one. "…Thanks. I-I'm sorry about that, everybody…"

"Hey, it's not like you to apologize over stuff like that." Hiro smirked, ruffling the boy's pink locks fondly. "Do us a favor, and start acting like the Shuichi we know—the one that's always hyperactive and never thinks about other peoples' feelings."

Ryuichi broke into a beaming expression, clinging ecstatically from the other vocalist's arm. "Hiroshi-_san_'s right, no da! Let's be happy like always, no matter what! 'Sides, Ryuichi LOVES having somebody to sing with, na no da!"

_Playful and cheerful as always…_ Shuichi's expression took a slightly happier turn for the better. "Right! Bad Luck and Nittle Grasper forever, right?"

His friend nodded elatedly, beaming as brightly as he could. "Yup! That's right!"

"You can count on me, too!" Tatsuha added without hesitation, jumping into the pseudo group-hug the foursome had somehow created. "You just let me know if you need ANYTHING, 'k? I may be going back to Kyoto in a few weeks, but I'm sticking with _Aniki_ for now. I'll kick his ass into gear if he needs it, don't you worry!"

A fist came down hard on the younger Usuegi brother's head, rumpled shirtsleeves accompanying it.

"Who's going to be kicking _who's_ ass? If I'm not mistaken, I just caught you painfully off-guard, Tatsuha."

Whining pathetically from his spot on the ground, Tatsuha held in injured cranium. "Jeez, _Aniki_! You're such a violent guy! I'm seriously gonna go back to Kyoto if you're going to insist on abusing your poor little brother like this!"

Unsurprisingly, Yuki didn't seem phased at all by the threat. "And this is supposed to bother me because…?"

However, it made both Ryuichi and Kumagorou's red and pink hearts respectively to nearly stop, as both man and bunny latched on to a rather shell-shocked Tatsuha.

"W-What're you DOING, Ryuichi?!" Tatsuha blushed, waving his arms around restlessly as the smaller male squeezed his waistline.

"Ryu-_chan_ doesn't want Taa-_chan_ to leave him, no daaaaaa! If you go back to Kyoto, Kuma-_san_ and I'll be really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really—"

"That's _probably_ enough, 'reallys,' Ryuichi." Hiro teasingly grinned. "And weren't you calling Tatsuha, 'Tatsuha-kun,' just before? What's with the new nickname all of a sudden?"

Shuichi almost started laughing, until the dangerous aura around his irate lover alerted him of the imminent threat. Naturally, he knew it was important to at least let Hiro know. He would listen to him, right?

"Erm…Hiro, do you think you can tell Ryuichi and Tatsuha-_san_ to tone it down a little…?"

"Hiro, it's not like that, dammit! Ryuichi and I aren't—"

"Wait, so now you're admitting that you **know** what I'm talking about? Then you DO want there to be somethin' between you both?"

"T-That's not what I'm saying! Ryuichi, get off of me, NOW!"

"Nooo! Not until Tatsuha _promises_ not to leave Tokyo yet, no da!"

"You're gonna piss him off even more by talking like that, you know."

"I'm not mad at HIM! _You're _the one that pissing me off, Hiro!"

"Oh? So suddenly I'M the bad guy? Need I remind you that I'm _not_ the one who started this whole thing?"

Unfortunately for those three, Yuki had enough of their incessant shouting and threw them out of the Miscellaneous Closet, promptly locking both he and Shuichi inside.

"…Bunch of fucking idiots." Yuki groused, holding his forehead as though a terrible migraine—either physically alive or mentally so, Shuichi could not say for certain--had been plaguing him. "If they start banging on the door in a few seconds, we're going to ignore them, got it?"

"Right!" Shuichi chirped, and while sounding a bit hoarse, he was certainly no worse for the wear outwardly. "So…forgetting about what just happened before…you wanted to talk to me about something?"

The blonde appeared quite embarrassed, just then—or was it not possible for Yuki Eiri to be shamefaced?—leaning against one of the many fallen boxes around them. "I thought that with how much has been going on lately, you might want to take a day off tomorrow and go to the beach or something…only if you wanted to, though."

The workings of Shuichi's mind began to turn, as the thought process began. A day off equals no work at NG Studios for most of tomorrow. Going to the beach equals a peaceful summer day. Going to the beach with YUKI equals…

_Holy **shit.** A date. A DATE. With Yuki. Just the two of us. Together. Alone. This means…_

"_YAHOO!!"_

Glomping the surprised Yuki, with his practiced, customary Shuichi-grin plastered on his face. It was fake, plastic; so much that the older man almost had the urge to smack the boy for it—but the pulsating glimmer in those indigo hues said otherwise. Shuichi's grateful look spoke wonders; more than enough for what needed to be said, and for a moment, he was awestruck.

"Thank you so, SO much, Yuki!" Cheering, wildly excited, Shuichi dashed to unlock the Closet door, key dangling suspended from his index finger. "I'm gonna tell everyone about it right now! Yeah, I know, you told me not to let 'em in, but…aaaii! I just HAVE to tell Hiro, at least! Oh, this is gonna be the best date EVER!"

Slapping a hand to his forehead, the renowned author shook his head exasperatedly. "Whoever said it was a date, you damn brat?"

But his visage contradicted what his eyes said as well—and there simply wasn't any better way to describe this countenance than delightfully pleased. Yuki knew that the headache tomorrow would be even worse than the chronic one developed ever since Shuichi's friends had woken up.

Some things, however, he knew were worth sacrificing his well-being for. And one of these—or rather, _them_, as it was a certain individual who was being treated in this case—was Shindou Shuichi.

_Shit…then again, when did I turn into such a sap? The only time I thought I'd be thinking lines like that were in the brainstorming for the second-rate romance novel I've been writing lately. Either I'm going soft or…_

For the first time in years, Yuki Eiri smiled.

…_Either that…or Shuichi's just that good._

** Epilogue to come after this chapter, folks. Please read and review to let me know what you thought!**


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